I'll Be There...

[God] Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” —Hebrews 13:5

Being alone is a frightening thing. Having moved 8 times within the past 4 years, I know how it feels to be once again in a place where you know no one... to once again feel very alone. And despite being quite familiar with this feeling, I never grow accustomed to it. It's scary and uncomfortable, feeling so isolated. There are few people that will ever honestly make the promise to us not to leave us... when we make a poor decision, when we become anxious or worried, when we are on our worst behavior. But God makes this promise, and He is so faithful. He won't leave me... even when I've been the worst to Him. I will never be alone.

This verse is particularly important to me this morning, because I am leading a Romans Bible Study on my own... for grad students. I've led studies before, but for people that I know in the church... and we're so used to studying the Bible that it practically happens on its own. People share openly and ask their own questions and take note of things that they see in a particular passage. Now, I have to admit I feel quite intimidated and nervous, and yes... I feel alone in this endeavor. Lord, help me to know, help me to feel and help me to remember that You are with me. You will not ever leave me, but You will be with me to lead me in this study. Guide me, Father. Alone I cannot.... but alone I am not.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands. - Psalm 138:8

Just before the familiar Psalm 139 with "Where can I go from your presence?," this scripture is greatly encouraging today. God has a purpose for me, and He will fulfill it. It is not a question or a mere suggestion. I am important, because God has given me importance. He wants me for a special reason, for a special job. And He will make it happen... not me. I am the work of His hands, and He loves me so much. Lord, help me to trust and give it all to You.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I thank God for a love that is filled with His excellent love. Last night I was so anxious and upset about the study. I'm worried that I can't do a good enough job... I want it to be so meaningful for my wonderful friends- new and old. I want it to be His word shining through. I want people to feel comfortable... and I'm worried that I'm not up to the challenge, that I'm not the right person for the job... although the previous verses have convinced me otherwise. But, Brad prayed with me and read some verses with me, offering to help and encouraging me. Most importantly, he was there for me when I needed him... and he just offered to be there in love. I cannot help but think that these verses describe him today.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:9-12

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully... Lord, please help me to accept the fact that I don't know it all, nor can I possibly know it all. You know everything, Father, and I need to trust that You will give me the words to speak.