What a day! I can't begin to express the joy that is in my heart. The first day of our General Meeting is something I look forward to- a semester's syllabus in hand with photograph and film analysis and creative ideas I'm hoping will this time really inspire my students. So much excitement! And a new program that is filled with exciting opportunities for study abroad, research, conferences, teaching, and amazingly wonderful colleagues. Then there's the fact that Brad is coming home... and this time we'll spend more than a day and a half together in our new home! We'll actually be living together in our own place for more than 2 days for the first time ever! It's exciting.
So much joy, but then I wish to be filled with this feeling always, and I think of the Lord. I know that "the joy of the Lord is my strength." And isn't it true? When we're filled with joy about something (whether it's a class, a baby, a marathon, a puppy, a project) we pour hours and hours into it... we have almost super-human strength in completing the task that brings us so much joy. I know that when we are so filled with the Holy Spirit and let the Lord's joy enter our hearts, we are renewed with the strength that is not our own, a strength that won't burn out, a strength that is the Lord's. I pray this morning that we may all be filled with that joy... the joy of the Lord... which gives enduring strength.
Not Our Strength
26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)
This is a good reminder from Paul. We ourselves are not able... think about who we are on our own. At least myself, I know I tend to fall into a pit, feel down or worried or nervous. Now these feelings at moments are all natural, but they also serve to point us back to God. Instead of focusing constantly on our state, we should turn our eyes to the Lord and recognize His perfect power and patience and peace and strength in every situation. Since we can't, isn't it calming and wonderful to know that He can?
And He wants to use us... imperfect persons with our frailties and faults and difficulties. I'm perhaps a bit too stubborn at times and perfectionistic, as many of us are, and I don't feel quite up to par with all of these super-intelligent colleagues of mine. But we are weak... in so many ways and trying to pretend that we are perfect is chasing after the wind. Recognizing our failures and letting them go allows us to boast in the Lord. I remember I always wanted to make a t-shirt that showed a real weak guy trying to lift a bar bell that said, "I'm weak... But He's Strong." And you know what I think the real test would be, who would wear it... especially in high school or on a college campus. It's frightening to admit that we are weak.
But take comfort in the Psalm and the words they speak to us...
But His
1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his [a] ;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations. (Psalm 100:1-5)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
"Putting Up With" & Praise
Ah, to "put up with" someone or something. We're all familiar with the art, well, almost all of us. The popular sitcom "Seinfeld" makes a comedy out of the fact that Jerry is unwilling to put up with anything inconvenient or unpleasing about his girlfriends... whether the pitch of her voice, giving up mimicking the sound of her stomach or the type of nose she has. He certainly does not put up with much, and for that reason... he's never with a single girlfriend for very long. Similarly, Chandler on "Friends" breaks up with a girl because of the way her mascara is always 'gloopy'. Comical when you go to these extremes, but "putting up with" is certainly not easy and certainly never what we'd like to do. We'd like our husband to memorize our 7 categories of towels. We'd like our wife to stop with that strange 'fake laugh' of hers. We'd like our kids to be able to play outside without getting into a horrible mess! We'd like our friends to undo those sometimes annoying habits.
I've thought of the beauty of "putting up with" many times, but today was the first time I though about it in the context of praising our Father. Wait... aren't those 2 different topics? Why both in the same reflection? Aren't they just 2 shoulds that are in different parts of our Christian programming? It would appear not...
Putting Up With --> Praising
1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."[a] 4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. 8For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews[b]on behalf of God's truth, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs 9so that the Gentiles may glorify God for his mercy, as it is written:
"Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles;
I will sing hymns to your name."[c] 10Again, it says,
"Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people."[d] 11And again,
"Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles,
and sing praises to him, all you peoples."[e] 12And again, Isaiah says,
"The Root of Jesse will spring up,
one who will arise to rule over the nations;
the Gentiles will hope in him."[f]
13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:1-13)
This entire section of Romans is quite beautiful, outlining a call to unity and acceptance among the entire congregation. We are to model Christ in pleasing others before ourselves, and I can't help but wonder if the first verse was one of the inspirational passages for the old Brethren saying, "For the glory of God and my neighbor's good." In fact, that touches on the exact theme of import here. When I am doing for my neighbor's good, it is also for God's glory... it is also praise for the Lord.
I'd like to point out verse 7, where Paul writes, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." We are not to put up with one another just to make our lives miserable, just to make someone else happy, just to make things difficult... this is linked to our very purpose of being. We exist to praise and glorify the Lord our God who is so worthy, and when we accept (put up with) one another, we are bringing praise to the Lord. What higher reason do we need? After all, Christ accepted (put up with) us. We didn't deserve it at all. We didn't deserve what He did for us. In some small tiny way we can show the love that Jesus bestowed on us by putting up with one another.
Notice it doesn't say 'be best friends with' or 'love X to death' or 'make Y your favorite person in the world.' No. It is a simple request to accept that person... to put up with that person. To acknowledge that person as a valuable child of God. Seems simple, but sometimes it's not quite that way when we 'think we are right.' But, here is the principle of 'forbearance' which the COB has practiced on many occasions, something I respect greatly and view as an example of a living peace church. It is remaining united, and accepting others, even when we don't necessarily agree... holding the unity and peace and love of your brothers and sisters at a higher standard than your own self. When we see that happen, whether it looks like a church that stays together or a marriage, friends that come from different sides of the political spectrum or parents and children who openly express their differences and love each other, would-be enemies shaking hands in any area, that certainly is praise-worthy. I believe Paul is right.
And if we were created to praise the Lord, we were also meant to put up with His children.
Praise Worthy!
I've thought of the beauty of "putting up with" many times, but today was the first time I though about it in the context of praising our Father. Wait... aren't those 2 different topics? Why both in the same reflection? Aren't they just 2 shoulds that are in different parts of our Christian programming? It would appear not...
Putting Up With --> Praising
1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."[a] 4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. 8For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews[b]on behalf of God's truth, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs 9so that the Gentiles may glorify God for his mercy, as it is written:
"Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles;
I will sing hymns to your name."[c] 10Again, it says,
"Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people."[d] 11And again,
"Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles,
and sing praises to him, all you peoples."[e] 12And again, Isaiah says,
"The Root of Jesse will spring up,
one who will arise to rule over the nations;
the Gentiles will hope in him."[f]
13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:1-13)
This entire section of Romans is quite beautiful, outlining a call to unity and acceptance among the entire congregation. We are to model Christ in pleasing others before ourselves, and I can't help but wonder if the first verse was one of the inspirational passages for the old Brethren saying, "For the glory of God and my neighbor's good." In fact, that touches on the exact theme of import here. When I am doing for my neighbor's good, it is also for God's glory... it is also praise for the Lord.
I'd like to point out verse 7, where Paul writes, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." We are not to put up with one another just to make our lives miserable, just to make someone else happy, just to make things difficult... this is linked to our very purpose of being. We exist to praise and glorify the Lord our God who is so worthy, and when we accept (put up with) one another, we are bringing praise to the Lord. What higher reason do we need? After all, Christ accepted (put up with) us. We didn't deserve it at all. We didn't deserve what He did for us. In some small tiny way we can show the love that Jesus bestowed on us by putting up with one another.
Notice it doesn't say 'be best friends with' or 'love X to death' or 'make Y your favorite person in the world.' No. It is a simple request to accept that person... to put up with that person. To acknowledge that person as a valuable child of God. Seems simple, but sometimes it's not quite that way when we 'think we are right.' But, here is the principle of 'forbearance' which the COB has practiced on many occasions, something I respect greatly and view as an example of a living peace church. It is remaining united, and accepting others, even when we don't necessarily agree... holding the unity and peace and love of your brothers and sisters at a higher standard than your own self. When we see that happen, whether it looks like a church that stays together or a marriage, friends that come from different sides of the political spectrum or parents and children who openly express their differences and love each other, would-be enemies shaking hands in any area, that certainly is praise-worthy. I believe Paul is right.
And if we were created to praise the Lord, we were also meant to put up with His children.
Praise Worthy!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Good Debt?!?!
It has come into fashion in recent years to be 'debt-free', especially in certain Christian circles. I guess the COB never had that push, because if we are 'living simply' as we ought, then we don't get into debt... at least because of material things we buy. So, when we think of debt, whether college debt or house payment debt or car loan debt, whatever it is, it's not a very pleasant thing. We don't jump around saying, "Hooray! I have $10,000 in debt!" or "I have $10,000 still left to pay off. Thank the Lord! I love paying that every month." We'd only be excited when we'd notice it shrinking and going away or when we paid it off, we throw a party.
But today's scripture challenges us to imagine another kind of debt. The 'continuing debt to love on another.' This debt is different. In fact, we should jump around, exciting that we still have more to give, more and more and more. It is continual, but due to God's grace you'll never get a late-paid penalty or increase in your interests. No, this debt is a beautiful thing... and we do love paying it... as often as we can, more than every month.
8Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"[a] and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 10Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:8-10)
To put this scripture into context, it comes right after Paul is reminding the Roman church to respect whoever is in authority and pay their taxes. This might've been of import, because several church communities at that time were rather communitarian, with a common pot. They weren't used to the taxing system and didn't see how it fit it. Was it contrary to Christianity? But Paul was telling them there was nothing wrong to it; they simply need to pay who they owe, what they owe. And from that, he transitions to what we owe, what we are allowed to remain in debt for. We are constantly to love our brothers and sisters with the law of love, which is above the law and upholds the law.
However, whenever we think of 'debt,' we think of an obligations. So this might present a challenge to us and lead us back into legalism. Instead, we should see the 'debt' as a gift. We are allowed to love our brothers and sisters. It is a beautiful opportunity to be the hands and feet of the Lord. And in fact, it simplifies everything. We don't need to be worried about all the rules and rights and wrongs, all we need to ask in every circumstance, in every decision is... is this the most loving way? How can I be loving in _____ (my course planning, my interactions with other grad students, my work day, my parenting, etc)? How can I be loving, because I want to be loving... and we, with the Holy Spirit in our lives, are blessed to be able to show Jesus love for us every way, continuing on through eternity.
But today's scripture challenges us to imagine another kind of debt. The 'continuing debt to love on another.' This debt is different. In fact, we should jump around, exciting that we still have more to give, more and more and more. It is continual, but due to God's grace you'll never get a late-paid penalty or increase in your interests. No, this debt is a beautiful thing... and we do love paying it... as often as we can, more than every month.
8Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"[a] and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 10Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:8-10)
To put this scripture into context, it comes right after Paul is reminding the Roman church to respect whoever is in authority and pay their taxes. This might've been of import, because several church communities at that time were rather communitarian, with a common pot. They weren't used to the taxing system and didn't see how it fit it. Was it contrary to Christianity? But Paul was telling them there was nothing wrong to it; they simply need to pay who they owe, what they owe. And from that, he transitions to what we owe, what we are allowed to remain in debt for. We are constantly to love our brothers and sisters with the law of love, which is above the law and upholds the law.
However, whenever we think of 'debt,' we think of an obligations. So this might present a challenge to us and lead us back into legalism. Instead, we should see the 'debt' as a gift. We are allowed to love our brothers and sisters. It is a beautiful opportunity to be the hands and feet of the Lord. And in fact, it simplifies everything. We don't need to be worried about all the rules and rights and wrongs, all we need to ask in every circumstance, in every decision is... is this the most loving way? How can I be loving in _____ (my course planning, my interactions with other grad students, my work day, my parenting, etc)? How can I be loving, because I want to be loving... and we, with the Holy Spirit in our lives, are blessed to be able to show Jesus love for us every way, continuing on through eternity.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Calling Out Leaders --> "Letting" Leaders
Yesterday we had a meeting about bible study leaders for the Graduate Christian Fellowship. And I have to admit I'm a little nervous about our 3rd study. Mike is planning on one, Brad and I are doing another. But there is only a faint idea of a third study. And myself, always way ahead of the game, would've rather had this decided in May. So for me, this is way late.
But I am learning to have faith to let leaders come forth... that God would call them out in their gifts and leanings and allow them to express their gifts in service to the Lord.
Letting Our Hearts
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God. (Psalm 84:1-2)
8 I will listen to what God the LORD will say;
he promises peace to his people, his saints—
but let them not return to folly (Psalm 85:8)
1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul. (Psalm 86:1-4)
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave. (Psalm 86:10-13)
In these Psalms I hear a lot of beautiful reflections of the Lord's servant David. So why not? First we have David referring to himself as the Lord's servant. In the DR, I'll never forget that certain sisters in the church would called themselves, 'your servant', maybe giving their name or not. But either way, they reminded themselves that they were servants of the Lord and so servants of the world... His hands and feet to whoever they would encounter. I also hear a heart's desire and a 'yearning' such a strong desire. I don't know if I've ever desired something so much to say that I 'yearned' for it, but that is what we should feel for the Lord with an 'undivided heart,' dedicating our whole heart to Him every morning. I also hear promises to listen to God and to learn His ways. So many parts of what we need in leaders are perhaps in their hearts and spiritual lives- the yearning, the desire, the servanthood, the prayer, and the obedience to His teachings.
For me the decision to take a small group and lead a Romans study wasn't that difficult. I was asked, I saw a need, and I responded to that need. There really wasn't a question in my mind. I learned early that we are servants; we respond to the needs of others when we are called. And I wanted to give back the beautiful gift that Brad and Andrew had given to me in their inspiring study the year before; I wanted to pay it forward. Even though I would've liked to continue going to a Brad's study, I knew this was important. I was a little nervous at first. I'd led studies, but not for incredibly intelligent intellectualizers such as grad students tend to be. I knew how to enjoy the scripture, how to apply the scripture, how to build a community. But, when I learned to give it to God, it turned out to be so beautiful and wonderful... meeting and learning from such a great group of kids who I love dearly now. God brought joy to His servant's life.
Letting Our Gifts
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (Romans 12:3-8)
And yes, this was what stood out to me this morning. As I was praying for God to send forth leaders, I heard Romans 12 differently. It does not say, "If a man's gift is ___, make him ____." No. Quite the contrary. In fact these gifts only need to be 'letted.' Ok, so that's not proper English. They only need to be allowed or encouraged. Because if we have a true gift that is from God, it happens naturally. I have those in my study last year who showed amazing energy and encouragement. I never told Jess, "Ok, you be encouraging." And there are those who are so knowledgeable about the scriptures and helpful to the study. Yet I never told Joseph, "Be edifying." And there are those who are amazingly fun and great a building Christian community. Yet I never said, "Blake, build community." And there are those who are comforting friends and guiding lights. But I never said, "Jenn, be comforting." And I can never forget my dear friend Kammy who is the most joyful woman of God you will ever meet. She is who I think of as the embodiment of the Lord's joy, and never did I say to her, "Kammy, be joyful." When we allow people to bring their gifts forth, when we encourage them and thank them for the gifts they share, when we pray for God to use the gifts He has given to each one, we 'let' God's will be done in a beautiful way.
But I am learning to have faith to let leaders come forth... that God would call them out in their gifts and leanings and allow them to express their gifts in service to the Lord.
Letting Our Hearts
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God. (Psalm 84:1-2)
8 I will listen to what God the LORD will say;
he promises peace to his people, his saints—
but let them not return to folly (Psalm 85:8)
1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul. (Psalm 86:1-4)
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave. (Psalm 86:10-13)
In these Psalms I hear a lot of beautiful reflections of the Lord's servant David. So why not? First we have David referring to himself as the Lord's servant. In the DR, I'll never forget that certain sisters in the church would called themselves, 'your servant', maybe giving their name or not. But either way, they reminded themselves that they were servants of the Lord and so servants of the world... His hands and feet to whoever they would encounter. I also hear a heart's desire and a 'yearning' such a strong desire. I don't know if I've ever desired something so much to say that I 'yearned' for it, but that is what we should feel for the Lord with an 'undivided heart,' dedicating our whole heart to Him every morning. I also hear promises to listen to God and to learn His ways. So many parts of what we need in leaders are perhaps in their hearts and spiritual lives- the yearning, the desire, the servanthood, the prayer, and the obedience to His teachings.
For me the decision to take a small group and lead a Romans study wasn't that difficult. I was asked, I saw a need, and I responded to that need. There really wasn't a question in my mind. I learned early that we are servants; we respond to the needs of others when we are called. And I wanted to give back the beautiful gift that Brad and Andrew had given to me in their inspiring study the year before; I wanted to pay it forward. Even though I would've liked to continue going to a Brad's study, I knew this was important. I was a little nervous at first. I'd led studies, but not for incredibly intelligent intellectualizers such as grad students tend to be. I knew how to enjoy the scripture, how to apply the scripture, how to build a community. But, when I learned to give it to God, it turned out to be so beautiful and wonderful... meeting and learning from such a great group of kids who I love dearly now. God brought joy to His servant's life.
Letting Our Gifts
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (Romans 12:3-8)
And yes, this was what stood out to me this morning. As I was praying for God to send forth leaders, I heard Romans 12 differently. It does not say, "If a man's gift is ___, make him ____." No. Quite the contrary. In fact these gifts only need to be 'letted.' Ok, so that's not proper English. They only need to be allowed or encouraged. Because if we have a true gift that is from God, it happens naturally. I have those in my study last year who showed amazing energy and encouragement. I never told Jess, "Ok, you be encouraging." And there are those who are so knowledgeable about the scriptures and helpful to the study. Yet I never told Joseph, "Be edifying." And there are those who are amazingly fun and great a building Christian community. Yet I never said, "Blake, build community." And there are those who are comforting friends and guiding lights. But I never said, "Jenn, be comforting." And I can never forget my dear friend Kammy who is the most joyful woman of God you will ever meet. She is who I think of as the embodiment of the Lord's joy, and never did I say to her, "Kammy, be joyful." When we allow people to bring their gifts forth, when we encourage them and thank them for the gifts they share, when we pray for God to use the gifts He has given to each one, we 'let' God's will be done in a beautiful way.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Beautiful Mystery: How Unsearchable His Judgments
I was just thinking today about how I love old buildings and the romantic mystery of wondering what took place there so many years before. I think sometimes we forget the beautiful mystery of God. We try to study His word perfectly and sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we can know it all exactly, that we can get it just right. I don't know. Somehow I think that's a little too uncomplicated for God. God is GOD! God is complicated. God is amazing. And wouldn't the God who created the Universe be mysterious and beyond our understanding? God is not like just any college professor- you can study enough to become like them. God is beyond what we are capable of learning in many lifetimes... now that's awesome!
Our Lack of Knowledge
1 God presides in the great assembly;
he gives judgment among the "gods":
2 "How long will you [c] defend the unjust
and show partiality to the wicked?
Selah
3 Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
4 Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
5 "They know nothing, they understand nothing.
They walk about in darkness;
all the foundations of the earth are shaken.
6 "I said, 'You are "gods";
you are all sons of the Most High.'
7 But you will die like mere men;
you will fall like every other ruler."
8 Rise up, O God, judge the earth,
for all the nations are your inheritance. (Psalm 82)
This sounds like a frustration we might have. Look at the situation of the world- the hunger, death, pain, war, affliction- God stop all of this. Why do bad things happen to good people? And why is the reverse true? But we remember, like Asaph, that we are wandering around in darkness. We don't know the whole story, the why, the how, what is going on here. And we don't know, because even though we are sons of the Father, we are just men. We are just human. We have a limited understanding and a limited lifespan unlike the Lord who knows all.
A little humility goes a long way... recognizing that we really don't know understand so much, that we know nothing in comparison to the all-reaching knowledge of God. And the comparison makes for an awesome sight. There is none like Him and the depth of His wisdom.
The Depth of His Wisdom
33Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and[d] knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"[e]
35"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"[f]
36For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen. (Romans 11:33-36)
Perhaps it is because I have this pressure to become 'an expert in my field', but there is something sooo comforting about not being able to know and not being expected to know. It is humbling too, as I mentioned before. We can't study a few more hours to learn God's paths or judgments. We won't be able to know His mind. How could we imagine ourselves able to 'counsel' Him? If we couldn't counsel Him, then we ought to put everything into a perspective of humility. God does not need to repay us at all, in fact we could never be able to repay Him.
The phrase that struck me to the core this morning was "how unsearchable His judgments, His paths are beyond tracing out!" No detective, no secret agent, He is beyond us. It is this that reminds us that He is Lord, and allows us to stand in awe of Him.
Our Lack of Knowledge
1 God presides in the great assembly;
he gives judgment among the "gods":
2 "How long will you [c] defend the unjust
and show partiality to the wicked?
Selah
3 Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
4 Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
5 "They know nothing, they understand nothing.
They walk about in darkness;
all the foundations of the earth are shaken.
6 "I said, 'You are "gods";
you are all sons of the Most High.'
7 But you will die like mere men;
you will fall like every other ruler."
8 Rise up, O God, judge the earth,
for all the nations are your inheritance. (Psalm 82)
This sounds like a frustration we might have. Look at the situation of the world- the hunger, death, pain, war, affliction- God stop all of this. Why do bad things happen to good people? And why is the reverse true? But we remember, like Asaph, that we are wandering around in darkness. We don't know the whole story, the why, the how, what is going on here. And we don't know, because even though we are sons of the Father, we are just men. We are just human. We have a limited understanding and a limited lifespan unlike the Lord who knows all.
A little humility goes a long way... recognizing that we really don't know understand so much, that we know nothing in comparison to the all-reaching knowledge of God. And the comparison makes for an awesome sight. There is none like Him and the depth of His wisdom.
The Depth of His Wisdom
33Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and[d] knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"[e]
35"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"[f]
36For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen. (Romans 11:33-36)
Perhaps it is because I have this pressure to become 'an expert in my field', but there is something sooo comforting about not being able to know and not being expected to know. It is humbling too, as I mentioned before. We can't study a few more hours to learn God's paths or judgments. We won't be able to know His mind. How could we imagine ourselves able to 'counsel' Him? If we couldn't counsel Him, then we ought to put everything into a perspective of humility. God does not need to repay us at all, in fact we could never be able to repay Him.
The phrase that struck me to the core this morning was "how unsearchable His judgments, His paths are beyond tracing out!" No detective, no secret agent, He is beyond us. It is this that reminds us that He is Lord, and allows us to stand in awe of Him.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Restore US: Make Your Face to Shine Upon US
Today I was struck by the beautiful refrain in Psalm 80...
"Restore us, O God;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved."
What a beautiful prayer. The first thing that stood out to me what the lovely imagery of the shining face...reminding me of all those lovely glowsticks shining at the same time at Annual Conference. But then I noticed... "Hey! It's not 'restore me.' It's not 'save me'." It's us. How often do we forget the others involved in our own personal struggles? Evens something that disheartens you probably upsets your parents and brothers and sisters, friends who care for you, church family... so many lives touched. And what about the ones who are causing the pain? Is there not some pain for them as well? Or perhaps they have pain in their lives or there is something causing them to act this way.
Again I come back to the challenge. It is a challenge to continually live out what Christ called us to... "Turn the other cheek. Pray for those who persecute you." Yes, pray for them. Include them in the 'us.' They are a part of us and we are a part of them. When we were asked to love our neighbor, there was no clause, no by-line. There were no 'ifs.' Love your neighbor... love your enemy. In Jesus, enemy, friend, neighbor and stranger no longer make a difference. In fact, we are all of those at some point, so we pray for restoration... for us.
Restore
3 Restore us, O God;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved.
4 O LORD God Almighty,
how long will your anger smolder
against the prayers of your people?
5 You have fed them with the bread of tears;
you have made them drink tears by the bowlful.
6 You have made us a source of contention to our neighbors,
and our enemies mock us.
7 Restore us, O God Almighty;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved. (Psalm 80:3-7)
Again I am amazed at the freedom of expression in the Psalms. I hope to do a study of the Psalms someday. If we were as open and honest as the Psalmists, then perhaps we would feel the truly wonderful freedom, that will set us free. For our Father doesn't only love us if we 'say the right things' or if we 'feel the right things'. No. He's soooo much bigger than that. Our heavenly Father looooves us. He loves us when we're having mood swings or when we're bitter or frustrated or deeply saddened or angry. And He encourages us to run to Him for comfort... to cast our cares upon Him. I know I've said it many times, but I believe we really do hide our tears. We force them back in and ignore them. After all, society tells us to 'be happy', and that 'guys can't cry' and that 'girls should be docile.' There are shoulds and shouldn'ts about our feelings in society... but not with God. In fact, when we recognize our true feelings is when we can come before the Lord and truly ask Him to restore us. How could be restored from what we hide from Him? How could we even ask for it?
And this prayer is one that I will remember for its inclusive nature. It recognizes that we are not individual bubbles no matter how hard we may try in this individualistic society. We are the stew in which the flavors all combine and affect one another. Or perhaps a kaleidescope with one color fading into and changing another. Our sins, our trials, our joys... it is not solitary and individual when we are living out the Christian community that Jesus describes. So it only makes sense to ask the Lord not just to restore me... but to restore us- family, friends, neighbors, enemies, all.
Us
16If the part of the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches.
17If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, 18do not boast over those branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you (Romans 11:16-18)
And the 'us' is a vital part of the New Testament teachings of the beginnings of the church. I once heard a sermon on the term 'one another' and how many times it is used in the New Testament. The number evades me now, but I remember the conclusion... a lot!
Here Paul is not just teaching 'tolerance' but appreciation, respect, and inclusion. He doesn't settle for separate and equal. He encourages the Romans to remember that they are all equally holy- no matter what part of the tree they are, for the roots (Jesus) supports them all... whether broken or upright, strong or twisted, choked by vines or bearing fruit. We are all in this together. It's interesting that I believe other cultures have a much better cultural schema for this sort of mindset... the culture from which the Bible comes. In the Middle East, you would not picture a network as single circles connected by lines. Instead, you would envision a network as overlapping, moveable, all connected to one another. For instance, to take out a loan, you could go to your friend, or your friend's friend, or your friend's friend's... you get the idea. We're connected... no matter how far apart, we're connected. Like Brad's trees in the Amazon, no matter how many layers above the roots, we're all a part of the same tree.
So Lord, restore US, make your face to shine upon US.
"Restore us, O God;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved."
What a beautiful prayer. The first thing that stood out to me what the lovely imagery of the shining face...reminding me of all those lovely glowsticks shining at the same time at Annual Conference. But then I noticed... "Hey! It's not 'restore me.' It's not 'save me'." It's us. How often do we forget the others involved in our own personal struggles? Evens something that disheartens you probably upsets your parents and brothers and sisters, friends who care for you, church family... so many lives touched. And what about the ones who are causing the pain? Is there not some pain for them as well? Or perhaps they have pain in their lives or there is something causing them to act this way.
Again I come back to the challenge. It is a challenge to continually live out what Christ called us to... "Turn the other cheek. Pray for those who persecute you." Yes, pray for them. Include them in the 'us.' They are a part of us and we are a part of them. When we were asked to love our neighbor, there was no clause, no by-line. There were no 'ifs.' Love your neighbor... love your enemy. In Jesus, enemy, friend, neighbor and stranger no longer make a difference. In fact, we are all of those at some point, so we pray for restoration... for us.
Restore
3 Restore us, O God;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved.
4 O LORD God Almighty,
how long will your anger smolder
against the prayers of your people?
5 You have fed them with the bread of tears;
you have made them drink tears by the bowlful.
6 You have made us a source of contention to our neighbors,
and our enemies mock us.
7 Restore us, O God Almighty;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved. (Psalm 80:3-7)
Again I am amazed at the freedom of expression in the Psalms. I hope to do a study of the Psalms someday. If we were as open and honest as the Psalmists, then perhaps we would feel the truly wonderful freedom, that will set us free. For our Father doesn't only love us if we 'say the right things' or if we 'feel the right things'. No. He's soooo much bigger than that. Our heavenly Father looooves us. He loves us when we're having mood swings or when we're bitter or frustrated or deeply saddened or angry. And He encourages us to run to Him for comfort... to cast our cares upon Him. I know I've said it many times, but I believe we really do hide our tears. We force them back in and ignore them. After all, society tells us to 'be happy', and that 'guys can't cry' and that 'girls should be docile.' There are shoulds and shouldn'ts about our feelings in society... but not with God. In fact, when we recognize our true feelings is when we can come before the Lord and truly ask Him to restore us. How could be restored from what we hide from Him? How could we even ask for it?
And this prayer is one that I will remember for its inclusive nature. It recognizes that we are not individual bubbles no matter how hard we may try in this individualistic society. We are the stew in which the flavors all combine and affect one another. Or perhaps a kaleidescope with one color fading into and changing another. Our sins, our trials, our joys... it is not solitary and individual when we are living out the Christian community that Jesus describes. So it only makes sense to ask the Lord not just to restore me... but to restore us- family, friends, neighbors, enemies, all.
Us
16If the part of the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches.
17If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, 18do not boast over those branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you (Romans 11:16-18)
And the 'us' is a vital part of the New Testament teachings of the beginnings of the church. I once heard a sermon on the term 'one another' and how many times it is used in the New Testament. The number evades me now, but I remember the conclusion... a lot!
Here Paul is not just teaching 'tolerance' but appreciation, respect, and inclusion. He doesn't settle for separate and equal. He encourages the Romans to remember that they are all equally holy- no matter what part of the tree they are, for the roots (Jesus) supports them all... whether broken or upright, strong or twisted, choked by vines or bearing fruit. We are all in this together. It's interesting that I believe other cultures have a much better cultural schema for this sort of mindset... the culture from which the Bible comes. In the Middle East, you would not picture a network as single circles connected by lines. Instead, you would envision a network as overlapping, moveable, all connected to one another. For instance, to take out a loan, you could go to your friend, or your friend's friend, or your friend's friend's... you get the idea. We're connected... no matter how far apart, we're connected. Like Brad's trees in the Amazon, no matter how many layers above the roots, we're all a part of the same tree.
So Lord, restore US, make your face to shine upon US.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
A Two Year Old Favorite: Why?
Yes, "why?" seems to be that question that young children wander about saying for every little thing. Whether its the monsoon, the faucet the hummingbird outside, or even about the why their older brother can do something they can't... there's a why for everything. (Rather ironically, those are the types of questions we try to recapture in grad school.) But have you ever seen a parent (or ever been one) who is confronted with a list of questions that you can't answer and you just say, "Because... that's why" or perhaps, "I'm your father, that's why." I believe that this second answer can help us to understand some of the confusing "whys" that we might have about the Bible and about the Lord.
Why?
1 Why have you rejected us forever, O God?
Why does your anger smolder against the sheep of your pasture?
2 Remember the people you purchased of old,
the tribe of your inheritance, whom you redeemed—
Mount Zion, where you dwelt. (Psalm 74:1-2)
There are lots of whys in this world, especially for the Christian. There are whys about personal circumstances. Why did that happen to me? Why us? Why her? Why now? Why not some other time, place, person? And then there are 'whys' about the situation of the world in general. Why is there pain? Why is there suffering? Why is there hunger? Why is there need? Why?
And like Asaph, we often do cry out, "Why, Lord?" And that is right. Our Lord is a gentle and loving Father who wants to listen to His children just as our parents take time to listen to us. So we cry out to Him. But if we listen carefully, we might begin to feel a comfort, a peace. For very deep pains such as death or illness, it might take a while or it might be a small feeling at first, but hopefully with a community of constant prayer support, you will begin to feel a peace... not a happiness that suffering has happened, but perhaps remembering that God knows why or an acceptance that He is still in control.
Thank You for Knowing Why
1 We give thanks to you, O God,
we give thanks, for your Name is near;
men tell of your wonderful deeds.
2 You say, "I choose the appointed time;
it is I who judge uprightly. (Psalm 75:1-2)
6 At your rebuke, O God of Jacob,
both horse and chariot lie still.
7 You alone are to be feared.
Who can stand before you when you are angry?
8 From heaven you pronounced judgment,
and the land feared and was quiet- (Psalm 76:6-8)
Sometimes, like the Psalm says, it is all about the time. Or as the other verses say, maybe it is to show God's power above all things. But with this comes a danger. In Brazil, as in many other countries I believe, there are many who see suffering as a sign of spiritual evil. "There must be something wrong with you, so that's why God is doing this to you." This is unacceptable. Job is proof that it is not only the evil who suffer. Yet, we have hope... we have the eternal hope that God knows. Maybe it's meant for you in the future, maybe not. But we know that He knows why, and that should be enough.
After everything, I sometimes wonder why. Why couldn't Brad have been open with me from the beginning. Or why couldn't we come home from the wedding and been newlyweds without such a difficult in-law issue heavy on our hearts? Why couldn't we keep that excitement for longer as other couples do? While truly only God knows why, I wonder... and I can see many things that I have learned from this. I have been catapulted into the knowledge that you don't just marry a man, you marry his family... especially his parents. A line about the show "Everybody Loves Raymond says it this way, "Ray Barone is a father, a son and a husband. Too bad it's so hard to do all three at once." It's hard to even do two at once. And then I've learned what I book-learned in our pre-marital counseling sessions: marriage is not a 50/50 deal- you give your whole self for the other. And I've learned how challenging it is to have someone else have a say in all your decisions. Challenging, but it was a challenge that we were given on our wedding day... to live out the love between Christ and His church. That kind of love didn't come easy for Christ, nor would it for anyone else. Although painful, it is still beautiful.
Remembering That He Knows Why
19One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" 20But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "[b] 21Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? (Romans 9:19-21)
When sometimes we slip and start asking why again, like the Romans asked Paul, it's good to remember his words. Paul is getting frustrated at the two-year-old like Romans,and he says, "Come on, now! He made you!!! Take a hint. You don't have any business knowing why." Just like the child that is sometimes given the "just because" answer... or the "because I'm your father" answer, we learn to accept that He knows why... and that is enough. In fact, it is more than enough... from the one who has given us grace... which is more than enough for all of us.
Why?
1 Why have you rejected us forever, O God?
Why does your anger smolder against the sheep of your pasture?
2 Remember the people you purchased of old,
the tribe of your inheritance, whom you redeemed—
Mount Zion, where you dwelt. (Psalm 74:1-2)
There are lots of whys in this world, especially for the Christian. There are whys about personal circumstances. Why did that happen to me? Why us? Why her? Why now? Why not some other time, place, person? And then there are 'whys' about the situation of the world in general. Why is there pain? Why is there suffering? Why is there hunger? Why is there need? Why?
And like Asaph, we often do cry out, "Why, Lord?" And that is right. Our Lord is a gentle and loving Father who wants to listen to His children just as our parents take time to listen to us. So we cry out to Him. But if we listen carefully, we might begin to feel a comfort, a peace. For very deep pains such as death or illness, it might take a while or it might be a small feeling at first, but hopefully with a community of constant prayer support, you will begin to feel a peace... not a happiness that suffering has happened, but perhaps remembering that God knows why or an acceptance that He is still in control.
Thank You for Knowing Why
1 We give thanks to you, O God,
we give thanks, for your Name is near;
men tell of your wonderful deeds.
2 You say, "I choose the appointed time;
it is I who judge uprightly. (Psalm 75:1-2)
6 At your rebuke, O God of Jacob,
both horse and chariot lie still.
7 You alone are to be feared.
Who can stand before you when you are angry?
8 From heaven you pronounced judgment,
and the land feared and was quiet- (Psalm 76:6-8)
Sometimes, like the Psalm says, it is all about the time. Or as the other verses say, maybe it is to show God's power above all things. But with this comes a danger. In Brazil, as in many other countries I believe, there are many who see suffering as a sign of spiritual evil. "There must be something wrong with you, so that's why God is doing this to you." This is unacceptable. Job is proof that it is not only the evil who suffer. Yet, we have hope... we have the eternal hope that God knows. Maybe it's meant for you in the future, maybe not. But we know that He knows why, and that should be enough.
After everything, I sometimes wonder why. Why couldn't Brad have been open with me from the beginning. Or why couldn't we come home from the wedding and been newlyweds without such a difficult in-law issue heavy on our hearts? Why couldn't we keep that excitement for longer as other couples do? While truly only God knows why, I wonder... and I can see many things that I have learned from this. I have been catapulted into the knowledge that you don't just marry a man, you marry his family... especially his parents. A line about the show "Everybody Loves Raymond says it this way, "Ray Barone is a father, a son and a husband. Too bad it's so hard to do all three at once." It's hard to even do two at once. And then I've learned what I book-learned in our pre-marital counseling sessions: marriage is not a 50/50 deal- you give your whole self for the other. And I've learned how challenging it is to have someone else have a say in all your decisions. Challenging, but it was a challenge that we were given on our wedding day... to live out the love between Christ and His church. That kind of love didn't come easy for Christ, nor would it for anyone else. Although painful, it is still beautiful.
Remembering That He Knows Why
19One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" 20But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "[b] 21Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? (Romans 9:19-21)
When sometimes we slip and start asking why again, like the Romans asked Paul, it's good to remember his words. Paul is getting frustrated at the two-year-old like Romans,and he says, "Come on, now! He made you!!! Take a hint. You don't have any business knowing why." Just like the child that is sometimes given the "just because" answer... or the "because I'm your father" answer, we learn to accept that He knows why... and that is enough. In fact, it is more than enough... from the one who has given us grace... which is more than enough for all of us.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
The Almost.. Yet... Testimony
This morning I'm struck especially by Psalm 73, the whole psalm. It's a story that I'm familiar with, and I wonder if we're all familiar with it. The most surprising things is that it doesn't talk about an evident failure but an 'almost' failure, and a hidden failure at that. This struggle is inward, not outward, and those are the struggles that we often don't write psalms about. Those are the struggles that we often sweep under the rug. And this Psalm has at least two distinct parts as I would see it: 1) the 'almost' confession and 2) the 'yet' resolution
Almost
1Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.(Psalm 73:1-2)
It's interesting that we have an 'almost' confession when we all struggle so many times to make actual confessions. Additionally, this is a mere confession of envy, to which we all succumb sometimes. If not envy, then some other equally hidden sinful desire.
And I have to say that I today feel as if I almost slipped. There is still so much pain in me. It is so tempting not to forgive, to hold a bitter and resentful attitude about all the pain that has befallen me. But that type of attitude suggests 'payback', and that would be similar to the image of holding a bowling ball over one's head. Why would I want to do it when I could put it down... and throw it down the lane where I don't have to look at it anymore and might get a strike in the process. In the process I could learn something, I could practice what Jesus taught us, I could see so many beautiful blessings.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you. (Psalm 73:9, 14, 21-22)
And though Asaph recognizes his 'almost' wrongdoing, he still does not refrain from recounting parts of the difficult story. He talks about 'those' people that he envied and why (9), then he talks of his frustration with the pain and hurt that it has caused him (14), and then he recognizes his feelings (21) but also the err of his ways (22).
Though I'm no psychologists, I believe this is a very healthy Psalm. The Brazilian guys chose to go to a workshop on forgiveness at National Youth Conference, and there the pastor talked about envisioning forgiveness as a spiral that has a straight line through it. He said forgiveness is a process in which you move closer to the line (forgiveness) then you move farther away, then you move back, and at the end you are in the center. To me, that made a lot of sense. Even when we've forgiven, the pain comes back and we work through it again and come back to our forgiveness.
This Psalm isn't exactly about forgiveness, but we do see Asaph here recounting the hurt that he has experienced and the evil of the people who have caused him pain. Yes, he has confessed his sin, but it still hurts and still merits a recounting. I have taken to opening word documents and writing letters which I promptly delete, just to get out the feelings that aren't at the heart of the decision I have made to love. Asaph has made a decision to confess his envy and not return to it, so I wonder if he is doing just that... writing it out to get it out and remind himself that he was senseless and arrogant and will not succumb to it any longer.
Yet
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:23-28)
And after Asaph has 'gotten it out' and confessed his mistep, he comes to the beautiful 'yet.' There is a 'yet' in this sad story. And the 'yet' is from God. In spite of all the hurt and all of the struggles, we come to a 'yet' that allows us to let go. A 'yet' that reminds us that in spite of our sin and flawed reactions and responses, "God is always with us and holds us by the right hand." Though we may fail, "God is the strength" not just of our physical body, but of our inward struggles and our "heart". And Asaph shows us how we will come out of the bitterness and fall into Jesus and the renewed Spirit that He can give us... "it is good to be near God."
And so we confess, we get out our frustration, we go near to God our refuge... where we will feel peace and forgiveness and hope. And after that, why wouldn't we tell of ALL that He has done for us?!
Almost
1Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.(Psalm 73:1-2)
It's interesting that we have an 'almost' confession when we all struggle so many times to make actual confessions. Additionally, this is a mere confession of envy, to which we all succumb sometimes. If not envy, then some other equally hidden sinful desire.
And I have to say that I today feel as if I almost slipped. There is still so much pain in me. It is so tempting not to forgive, to hold a bitter and resentful attitude about all the pain that has befallen me. But that type of attitude suggests 'payback', and that would be similar to the image of holding a bowling ball over one's head. Why would I want to do it when I could put it down... and throw it down the lane where I don't have to look at it anymore and might get a strike in the process. In the process I could learn something, I could practice what Jesus taught us, I could see so many beautiful blessings.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you. (Psalm 73:9, 14, 21-22)
And though Asaph recognizes his 'almost' wrongdoing, he still does not refrain from recounting parts of the difficult story. He talks about 'those' people that he envied and why (9), then he talks of his frustration with the pain and hurt that it has caused him (14), and then he recognizes his feelings (21) but also the err of his ways (22).
Though I'm no psychologists, I believe this is a very healthy Psalm. The Brazilian guys chose to go to a workshop on forgiveness at National Youth Conference, and there the pastor talked about envisioning forgiveness as a spiral that has a straight line through it. He said forgiveness is a process in which you move closer to the line (forgiveness) then you move farther away, then you move back, and at the end you are in the center. To me, that made a lot of sense. Even when we've forgiven, the pain comes back and we work through it again and come back to our forgiveness.
This Psalm isn't exactly about forgiveness, but we do see Asaph here recounting the hurt that he has experienced and the evil of the people who have caused him pain. Yes, he has confessed his sin, but it still hurts and still merits a recounting. I have taken to opening word documents and writing letters which I promptly delete, just to get out the feelings that aren't at the heart of the decision I have made to love. Asaph has made a decision to confess his envy and not return to it, so I wonder if he is doing just that... writing it out to get it out and remind himself that he was senseless and arrogant and will not succumb to it any longer.
Yet
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:23-28)
And after Asaph has 'gotten it out' and confessed his mistep, he comes to the beautiful 'yet.' There is a 'yet' in this sad story. And the 'yet' is from God. In spite of all the hurt and all of the struggles, we come to a 'yet' that allows us to let go. A 'yet' that reminds us that in spite of our sin and flawed reactions and responses, "God is always with us and holds us by the right hand." Though we may fail, "God is the strength" not just of our physical body, but of our inward struggles and our "heart". And Asaph shows us how we will come out of the bitterness and fall into Jesus and the renewed Spirit that He can give us... "it is good to be near God."
And so we confess, we get out our frustration, we go near to God our refuge... where we will feel peace and forgiveness and hope. And after that, why wouldn't we tell of ALL that He has done for us?!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Alleluia! You Will Bring Me Up Again
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up. (Psalm 71:20)
When I read these words this morning it was like a sweet and soothing salve for my soul. We've all felt bitter troubles, but yet it is in the Lord that we have hope for restoration... to be brought up again. Repeat it, say it out loud. Say it like you mean it, say it like you believe it. Isn't it beautiful? That the Lord will bring us up again!
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring my up."
Always More Hope
14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.
22 I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you—
I, whom you have redeemed. (Psalm 71:14-23)
"But as for me, I will always have hope." As yesterday I prayed to be more loving, today I pray for more hope. This is followed by, "I will praise you more and more." And I believe the two are perhaps inextricably linked. When we praise the Lord constantly for all the good gifts He has given to us, how can we not be hopeful for the many good gifts that are to come? However, that's not to say that we won't see bitter troubles. The other verse mentions that outright. We have all seen troubles, but we trust that God will lift us from the depths and bring us up again. We hope in Him.
Yesterday I changed my name to Christoffersen. We originally wanted to have 2 last names together to symbolize the both of us leaving and forming a new family, but then after talking to his very upset parents, Brad didn't feel comfortable changing to 2 last names. Then, it was just up to me to decide about my name. And yesterday I decided that if it seemed so important to his parents, then I could make the more loving and selfless decision. And, well, we still have a shared last name, which we both wanted in the first place. After all, the first time we ever talked about names, I said I would "be happy to be Katie Christoffersen, because I was happy to be marrying Brad Christoffersen." But Brad never gave me a clear opinion. The other night he said he preferred Christoffersen, but then the next day he said he preferred the other. So I was glad (and relieved) last night to find out that he is fine with the decision as well.
And so last night when I talked to Brad, we decided to put this all behind us. Our second week of marriage, right after we got home from the honeymoon, the name became a huge issue that knocked us into difficult situations with parents that aren't expected until later on in the marriage. People would smile at us and say, "Ah, newlyweds"... but we didn't feel so much like that anymore, with upset parents, broken promises and hurt feelings on all sides. It felt like we were in the depths for a very long time, a place most people don't find themselves in their first 2 months of marriage. We in some ways 'become old' in our relationship too fast, dealt with family frustrations and big decisions. But, we decided that we want to have hope for the next months. We are going back to claim our 'newlyweddedness' full-force, because no one will take that from us. I praise the Lord, because I know that He can restore our life again, and bring us up from the depths of despair.
Hope For the "Good"
22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:22-28)
Similarly, as Paul states, we do not hope for what we have. When we are 'groaning' and when we are 'in despair', we hope in the Lord. This isn't always the easiest thing. It's hard for me to hope, to look forward to something, because I'm afraid of being disappointed, having my heart broken if it doesn't come through. It's hard to hope in people or opportunities, but it's easier to hope in God. Because, well, God is God! God is looking out for the best for us. And the Spirit helps us know what to pray and hope for. And... "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him"! Amen! Thank you, Father. I know that You work for the good of me, of my family, of my friends, of all of us... and that gives me a lot of hope. A strong hope, a hope even for those depths, knowing that you will bring me up again!
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up. (Psalm 71:20)
When I read these words this morning it was like a sweet and soothing salve for my soul. We've all felt bitter troubles, but yet it is in the Lord that we have hope for restoration... to be brought up again. Repeat it, say it out loud. Say it like you mean it, say it like you believe it. Isn't it beautiful? That the Lord will bring us up again!
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring my up."
Always More Hope
14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.
22 I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you—
I, whom you have redeemed. (Psalm 71:14-23)
"But as for me, I will always have hope." As yesterday I prayed to be more loving, today I pray for more hope. This is followed by, "I will praise you more and more." And I believe the two are perhaps inextricably linked. When we praise the Lord constantly for all the good gifts He has given to us, how can we not be hopeful for the many good gifts that are to come? However, that's not to say that we won't see bitter troubles. The other verse mentions that outright. We have all seen troubles, but we trust that God will lift us from the depths and bring us up again. We hope in Him.
Yesterday I changed my name to Christoffersen. We originally wanted to have 2 last names together to symbolize the both of us leaving and forming a new family, but then after talking to his very upset parents, Brad didn't feel comfortable changing to 2 last names. Then, it was just up to me to decide about my name. And yesterday I decided that if it seemed so important to his parents, then I could make the more loving and selfless decision. And, well, we still have a shared last name, which we both wanted in the first place. After all, the first time we ever talked about names, I said I would "be happy to be Katie Christoffersen, because I was happy to be marrying Brad Christoffersen." But Brad never gave me a clear opinion. The other night he said he preferred Christoffersen, but then the next day he said he preferred the other. So I was glad (and relieved) last night to find out that he is fine with the decision as well.
And so last night when I talked to Brad, we decided to put this all behind us. Our second week of marriage, right after we got home from the honeymoon, the name became a huge issue that knocked us into difficult situations with parents that aren't expected until later on in the marriage. People would smile at us and say, "Ah, newlyweds"... but we didn't feel so much like that anymore, with upset parents, broken promises and hurt feelings on all sides. It felt like we were in the depths for a very long time, a place most people don't find themselves in their first 2 months of marriage. We in some ways 'become old' in our relationship too fast, dealt with family frustrations and big decisions. But, we decided that we want to have hope for the next months. We are going back to claim our 'newlyweddedness' full-force, because no one will take that from us. I praise the Lord, because I know that He can restore our life again, and bring us up from the depths of despair.
Hope For the "Good"
22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:22-28)
Similarly, as Paul states, we do not hope for what we have. When we are 'groaning' and when we are 'in despair', we hope in the Lord. This isn't always the easiest thing. It's hard for me to hope, to look forward to something, because I'm afraid of being disappointed, having my heart broken if it doesn't come through. It's hard to hope in people or opportunities, but it's easier to hope in God. Because, well, God is God! God is looking out for the best for us. And the Spirit helps us know what to pray and hope for. And... "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him"! Amen! Thank you, Father. I know that You work for the good of me, of my family, of my friends, of all of us... and that gives me a lot of hope. A strong hope, a hope even for those depths, knowing that you will bring me up again!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Unbearable Lightness of Suffering
I've cried many tears in the past three months, more tears than perhaps many newlyweds have. But then, I wonder. These are quiet tears, hidden tears, invisible in the silence behind closed doors... here alone in my apartment so that no one hears and no one sees. Tears born out of the pain of having displeased in-laws, disappointment that my husband did not cleave to me and our decision, and feeling emotionally distant from my physically distant husband.
I am comforted by the scriptures today in two ways. 1) I know that it is ok for me to feel this way, to have these tears and to cry our to my Father. 2) Yet, I also know that there are many blessings that the Lord has given me. There are so many wonderful beautiful things to praise God for.
Crying to Our Father
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God. (Psalm 68:1-3)
I don't believe that hiding feelings or de-valuing the feelings of others is ever a good decision. If you feel sad, that is true. If you feel disappointed, that is true. Hiding your feelings may only make them come up again in a worse way, perhaps. But just like our parents, we have a heavenly Father who wants to hear everything... the good, the bad and the ugly. So we turn to Him and cry out for help, tell him how we feel... sinking into those miry depths where there is no foothold. We can express our lack of hope, our 'down' attitude, our disillusionment in a completely safe space. Our Father will not judge us, but He asks us to cast our cares upon Him. What a blessing. It seems instinctive that everyone else will want to give you a 'quick fix' or tell you not to feel the way you feel or at least tell you they wish you felt differently. Instead, our Lord listens and asks us to cast those cares upon Him, lay those burdens at His feet... take them from our heart to the Lord who can take it all upon Himself. After all, He already has.
Thanking Our Father
29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.
32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!
33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,
35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;
36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there. (Psalm 68:29-32)
Yet in the moments when I have tears, like the psalmist, I can move from having so many floods of tears "that rise up to my neck" to having hymns of praise. There are so many things to be thankful for. So many things for which we can praise our Lord. Praising God helps us to move away from our sadness into the joy that comes from the many gifts He has given to us...
I am safe, I am healthy, I will be starting a PhD program in a subject I enjoy, I have a nice place to live in, I have a puppy, I am able to run in the morning, I am able to enjoy the Tucson sunsets, I have a family that loves me and cares for me no matter what, and I have the hope that is in the Lord... that He will fill me with the power to overcome all things.
The Blessings are Greater, The Suffering is Light
18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that[i] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. (Romans 8:18-21)
And in comparing our present sufferings with the many blessings God has given us... we recognize that the sufferings come up short. It is simply not worth any more tears. So we can stop. And if you're having trouble coming up with blessings, you can revert to Paul's mention of God's ultimate blessing- salvation... Christ died to save us from our own sin and sent His Holy Spirit as counselor and teacher. What a beautiful gift... that can help us move away from our tears to the blessings.
Lord, thank you for Your many overabundant blessings. I praise You for You have done such amazing things in my life in the lives of so many, and I pray that You would fill me with Your Holy Spirit and enable me to be Your hands and feet here on earth. Help to heal the relationship, the relationship is more important than the name. And teach me how to be a Godly wife, a blessing to my husband, make me always more loving, always more selfless, always more forgiving, abundant in expressing the agape love that You have shown us as an example.
I am comforted by the scriptures today in two ways. 1) I know that it is ok for me to feel this way, to have these tears and to cry our to my Father. 2) Yet, I also know that there are many blessings that the Lord has given me. There are so many wonderful beautiful things to praise God for.
Crying to Our Father
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God. (Psalm 68:1-3)
I don't believe that hiding feelings or de-valuing the feelings of others is ever a good decision. If you feel sad, that is true. If you feel disappointed, that is true. Hiding your feelings may only make them come up again in a worse way, perhaps. But just like our parents, we have a heavenly Father who wants to hear everything... the good, the bad and the ugly. So we turn to Him and cry out for help, tell him how we feel... sinking into those miry depths where there is no foothold. We can express our lack of hope, our 'down' attitude, our disillusionment in a completely safe space. Our Father will not judge us, but He asks us to cast our cares upon Him. What a blessing. It seems instinctive that everyone else will want to give you a 'quick fix' or tell you not to feel the way you feel or at least tell you they wish you felt differently. Instead, our Lord listens and asks us to cast those cares upon Him, lay those burdens at His feet... take them from our heart to the Lord who can take it all upon Himself. After all, He already has.
Thanking Our Father
29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.
32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!
33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,
35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;
36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there. (Psalm 68:29-32)
Yet in the moments when I have tears, like the psalmist, I can move from having so many floods of tears "that rise up to my neck" to having hymns of praise. There are so many things to be thankful for. So many things for which we can praise our Lord. Praising God helps us to move away from our sadness into the joy that comes from the many gifts He has given to us...
I am safe, I am healthy, I will be starting a PhD program in a subject I enjoy, I have a nice place to live in, I have a puppy, I am able to run in the morning, I am able to enjoy the Tucson sunsets, I have a family that loves me and cares for me no matter what, and I have the hope that is in the Lord... that He will fill me with the power to overcome all things.
The Blessings are Greater, The Suffering is Light
18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that[i] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. (Romans 8:18-21)
And in comparing our present sufferings with the many blessings God has given us... we recognize that the sufferings come up short. It is simply not worth any more tears. So we can stop. And if you're having trouble coming up with blessings, you can revert to Paul's mention of God's ultimate blessing- salvation... Christ died to save us from our own sin and sent His Holy Spirit as counselor and teacher. What a beautiful gift... that can help us move away from our tears to the blessings.
Lord, thank you for Your many overabundant blessings. I praise You for You have done such amazing things in my life in the lives of so many, and I pray that You would fill me with Your Holy Spirit and enable me to be Your hands and feet here on earth. Help to heal the relationship, the relationship is more important than the name. And teach me how to be a Godly wife, a blessing to my husband, make me always more loving, always more selfless, always more forgiving, abundant in expressing the agape love that You have shown us as an example.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Joy in Discernment
Last night at Bible Study, one of the things that really stuck with me was what Jill had to say. She noticed that the fruits of the spirit, peace, patience, kindness, joy, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control, are fruits of the Spirit. The Spirit which is from God is characterized by all those things. I agree that I often forget to envision God as joyful and gentle. But as Jill said, "He is. He made puppies!" ;o)
And today I came to the scripture rather downhearted, seeking wisdom and discernment. But I was surprised by what I saw... praise and joy in the Lord. And the Psalm taught me of a new way to go about the decision-making process, to find the joy in discernment when guided by the Lord.
Maybe you need a little background about my situation. After the wedding in June where we were announced as O'Donnell Christoffersen, Brad and I discussed his name some more. He decided that he was uncomfortable with the name change, so only I would change my name. I went to the SS office to have my name changed to O'Donnell Christoffersen, but it was 3 letters too long to fit as a double last name. So we've been talking about whether I should stick with O'Donnell or change to Christoffersen, and this past week Brad said he preferred I'd take Christoffersen because he'd prefer to share a last name. While we still could share a name informally, him telling me that changes things, because he never told me he preferred that before. Yesterday the school has told me that for employment purposes it's better for me to change now than mid-semester. So, I came to the scripture this morning confused and wanting an easy answer.
But the Psalm gave me something much more precious...
Who God Is
1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth!
2 Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!
3 Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.
4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing praise to your name."
Selah
5 Come and see what God has done,
how awesome his works in man's behalf!
6 He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the waters on foot—
come, let us rejoice in him. (Psalm 66:1-6)
So when I just wanted an answer from God, when I was upset by the difficulty and seeming permanence of the decision, this Psalm reminded me of who I was going to for help. I mean, the God almighty who is deserving of every praise! He made the earth, so the earth bows before Him and is at His command. He not only controls the earth but also the seas, and He dried the sea for His people to pass safely through.
When I read these words, I was at first ashamed. I was coming to some 'god' with a small 'g' for an answer in the 'right now' sense... without realizing that I was really meant to come humbly before the GOD who is the Great I AM whose name for centuries was considered too powerful and amazing to be uttered. Perhaps that is why they held that tradition, so that they would remember, before coming before ____ that He is unlike the ones we can name. This amazing Lord who is our counselor and guide is the Creator of the Universe. And He cares for us! There is joy in the fact that our gentle Father invites us to come to Him, 'ye who are weary and heavy laden,' and 'cast all our cares upon Him.' Yet, there is more joy when we recognize who we are coming before.
What He Does
16 Come and listen, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.
17 I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.
18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;
19 but God has surely listened
and heard my voice in prayer.
20 Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me! (Psalm 66:16-20)
This second part of the same Psalm is one that I have always appreciated, especially the first verse: "let me tell you what God has done for me." When we're confronted with a new challenge, a new difficulty, a new problem, a new decision, it's so easy to forget the past. We want to move on, solve the problem and get to the next problem as soon as possible. But I hear in this psalm this morning, the value of recounting what has happened in the past- the blessings, the times when God has listened to our prayer and what He has done for us.
Just recently, the director of the SLAT PhD program Dr. Waugh told me about an opportunity to be a Graduate Associate of Teaching for an introductory linguistics course. It seemed too good to be true, just the sort of thing I was interested in teaching some day, and at the moment when I was feeling unsure about my decision to enter the program. But God did indeed grant me this opportunity, and I feel so blessed. Graduate school is a blessing that is not possible for everyone, teach and earn an income is not an opportunity everyone has. And this opportunity to teach a subject I find fascinating is so good... and I know I have only to thank my Father for His good gifts.
What He Will Do & What We Will Do
1 May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us,
Selah
2 that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.
3 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.
4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth.
Selah
5 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.
6 Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.
7 God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him. (Psalm 67:1-7)
And God will bless us. We don't know exactly in what ways, but at least in the ultimate way, the way we need most- His saving grace. And that is the most precious gift that we could ever ask for. So, we can rest knowing that we are abundantly blessed, even if we don't receive other blessings which we ask for.
And we have a part too, we are to praise the Lord, for He is good. And in our genuine praise, we are joyful.
Through reflecting on who the Lord is, what He has done for us, and what He will do, we find the joy in discernment. And we are ready to come before the Lord, humbly, joyfully, praising Him.
And today I came to the scripture rather downhearted, seeking wisdom and discernment. But I was surprised by what I saw... praise and joy in the Lord. And the Psalm taught me of a new way to go about the decision-making process, to find the joy in discernment when guided by the Lord.
Maybe you need a little background about my situation. After the wedding in June where we were announced as O'Donnell Christoffersen, Brad and I discussed his name some more. He decided that he was uncomfortable with the name change, so only I would change my name. I went to the SS office to have my name changed to O'Donnell Christoffersen, but it was 3 letters too long to fit as a double last name. So we've been talking about whether I should stick with O'Donnell or change to Christoffersen, and this past week Brad said he preferred I'd take Christoffersen because he'd prefer to share a last name. While we still could share a name informally, him telling me that changes things, because he never told me he preferred that before. Yesterday the school has told me that for employment purposes it's better for me to change now than mid-semester. So, I came to the scripture this morning confused and wanting an easy answer.
But the Psalm gave me something much more precious...
Who God Is
1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth!
2 Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!
3 Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.
4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing praise to your name."
Selah
5 Come and see what God has done,
how awesome his works in man's behalf!
6 He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the waters on foot—
come, let us rejoice in him. (Psalm 66:1-6)
So when I just wanted an answer from God, when I was upset by the difficulty and seeming permanence of the decision, this Psalm reminded me of who I was going to for help. I mean, the God almighty who is deserving of every praise! He made the earth, so the earth bows before Him and is at His command. He not only controls the earth but also the seas, and He dried the sea for His people to pass safely through.
When I read these words, I was at first ashamed. I was coming to some 'god' with a small 'g' for an answer in the 'right now' sense... without realizing that I was really meant to come humbly before the GOD who is the Great I AM whose name for centuries was considered too powerful and amazing to be uttered. Perhaps that is why they held that tradition, so that they would remember, before coming before ____ that He is unlike the ones we can name. This amazing Lord who is our counselor and guide is the Creator of the Universe. And He cares for us! There is joy in the fact that our gentle Father invites us to come to Him, 'ye who are weary and heavy laden,' and 'cast all our cares upon Him.' Yet, there is more joy when we recognize who we are coming before.
What He Does
16 Come and listen, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.
17 I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.
18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;
19 but God has surely listened
and heard my voice in prayer.
20 Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me! (Psalm 66:16-20)
This second part of the same Psalm is one that I have always appreciated, especially the first verse: "let me tell you what God has done for me." When we're confronted with a new challenge, a new difficulty, a new problem, a new decision, it's so easy to forget the past. We want to move on, solve the problem and get to the next problem as soon as possible. But I hear in this psalm this morning, the value of recounting what has happened in the past- the blessings, the times when God has listened to our prayer and what He has done for us.
Just recently, the director of the SLAT PhD program Dr. Waugh told me about an opportunity to be a Graduate Associate of Teaching for an introductory linguistics course. It seemed too good to be true, just the sort of thing I was interested in teaching some day, and at the moment when I was feeling unsure about my decision to enter the program. But God did indeed grant me this opportunity, and I feel so blessed. Graduate school is a blessing that is not possible for everyone, teach and earn an income is not an opportunity everyone has. And this opportunity to teach a subject I find fascinating is so good... and I know I have only to thank my Father for His good gifts.
What He Will Do & What We Will Do
1 May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us,
Selah
2 that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.
3 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.
4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth.
Selah
5 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.
6 Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.
7 God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him. (Psalm 67:1-7)
And God will bless us. We don't know exactly in what ways, but at least in the ultimate way, the way we need most- His saving grace. And that is the most precious gift that we could ever ask for. So, we can rest knowing that we are abundantly blessed, even if we don't receive other blessings which we ask for.
And we have a part too, we are to praise the Lord, for He is good. And in our genuine praise, we are joyful.
Through reflecting on who the Lord is, what He has done for us, and what He will do, we find the joy in discernment. And we are ready to come before the Lord, humbly, joyfully, praising Him.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Master Peace Theatre
Once upon a time, there was a show entitled Masterpiece Theatre, and as with anything distinctive and well-known, there were many parodies on this... such as "Monster Piece Theatre" on Sesame Street. Some monster puppet sat in a large wingback chair and smoked a pipe, speaking in a calm, low voice with a British accent. Well, this morning as I read about the works of my Master... I thought about how we don't attend a Masterpiece Theatre. We attend a Master PEACE Theatre. Belonging to our Master and living in Him and observing His creation and beautiful works, giving Him all the praise... leads us to peace.
Master of Creation
1 Praise awaits [b] you, O God, in Zion;
to you our vows will be fulfilled.
2 O you who hear prayer,
to you all men will come.
3 When we were overwhelmed by sins,
you forgave [c] our transgressions.
4 Blessed are those you choose
and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
of your holy temple.
5 You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness,
O God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas,
6 who formed the mountains by your power,
having armed yourself with strength,
7 who stilled the roaring of the seas,
the roaring of their waves,
and the turmoil of the nations.
8 Those living far away fear your wonders;
where morning dawns and evening fades
you call forth songs of joy.
9 You care for the land and water it;
you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
to provide the people with grain,
for so you have ordained it. [d]
10 You drench its furrows
and level its ridges;
you soften it with showers
and bless its crops.
11 You crown the year with your bounty,
and your carts overflow with abundance.
12 The grasslands of the desert overflow;
the hills are clothed with gladness.
13 The meadows are covered with flocks
and the valleys are mantled with grain;
they shout for joy and sing. (Psalm 65:1-13)
The mountains, the seas, the dawns, the crops, the meadows. It is all so very masterful. What we sometimes lack is the art of noticing... being able to notice the everyday beauty all around us. We get so trapped into our ways and our days that we have difficulty seeing the bold brilliant colors in that backyard flower anew. It is beautiful. Take a half hour walk around your neighborhood and mentally or physically take pictures of the little beauty that surrounds you every day. The patch of grass, the little flowerbed, the gorgeous sunset, the tall tall pine, the fresh air, the quiet, whatever it is. I challenge you to find at least 5 things to praise our Master for. In reality, we could really find many more. But even 5 a day of these little common everyday backyard beauties may help to bring us a peace... a peace that our Lord is right here. We can be connected to His greatness and beauty right in our own backyard.
Master of Our Hearts
But rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. (Romans 6:13-18)
And since our Lord is all powerful, all mighty, creator of every good thing, it makes sense that we would be His servants (Paul says slaves). But I think in today's terms we would say servant... since we willingly submit our lives to Him. We think of slavery only when it is forced. And we don't turn away, because we're not forced to. Hmm... it reminds me of good old Tom Sawyer washing that fence. His friends came along and one by one he convinced them that it was the most fun thing ever. And they joined right in, willingly, in fact if my memory serves me correctly, some of them even paid for it!
Well, we're not in exactly the same situation. See, Tom didn't really want to wash that fence, and he quit as soon as the others were doing it for him. But, we do want to serve God. To be the hands and feet of the Lord here on earth is a great honor... it's like getting the best GATship in the world! Sure, it's work, but it's beautiful work that brings peace... just like everything else that the Lord God has created.
What a perfectly beautiful Master Plan!
Master of Creation
1 Praise awaits [b] you, O God, in Zion;
to you our vows will be fulfilled.
2 O you who hear prayer,
to you all men will come.
3 When we were overwhelmed by sins,
you forgave [c] our transgressions.
4 Blessed are those you choose
and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
of your holy temple.
5 You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness,
O God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas,
6 who formed the mountains by your power,
having armed yourself with strength,
7 who stilled the roaring of the seas,
the roaring of their waves,
and the turmoil of the nations.
8 Those living far away fear your wonders;
where morning dawns and evening fades
you call forth songs of joy.
9 You care for the land and water it;
you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
to provide the people with grain,
for so you have ordained it. [d]
10 You drench its furrows
and level its ridges;
you soften it with showers
and bless its crops.
11 You crown the year with your bounty,
and your carts overflow with abundance.
12 The grasslands of the desert overflow;
the hills are clothed with gladness.
13 The meadows are covered with flocks
and the valleys are mantled with grain;
they shout for joy and sing. (Psalm 65:1-13)
The mountains, the seas, the dawns, the crops, the meadows. It is all so very masterful. What we sometimes lack is the art of noticing... being able to notice the everyday beauty all around us. We get so trapped into our ways and our days that we have difficulty seeing the bold brilliant colors in that backyard flower anew. It is beautiful. Take a half hour walk around your neighborhood and mentally or physically take pictures of the little beauty that surrounds you every day. The patch of grass, the little flowerbed, the gorgeous sunset, the tall tall pine, the fresh air, the quiet, whatever it is. I challenge you to find at least 5 things to praise our Master for. In reality, we could really find many more. But even 5 a day of these little common everyday backyard beauties may help to bring us a peace... a peace that our Lord is right here. We can be connected to His greatness and beauty right in our own backyard.
Master of Our Hearts
But rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. (Romans 6:13-18)
And since our Lord is all powerful, all mighty, creator of every good thing, it makes sense that we would be His servants (Paul says slaves). But I think in today's terms we would say servant... since we willingly submit our lives to Him. We think of slavery only when it is forced. And we don't turn away, because we're not forced to. Hmm... it reminds me of good old Tom Sawyer washing that fence. His friends came along and one by one he convinced them that it was the most fun thing ever. And they joined right in, willingly, in fact if my memory serves me correctly, some of them even paid for it!
Well, we're not in exactly the same situation. See, Tom didn't really want to wash that fence, and he quit as soon as the others were doing it for him. But, we do want to serve God. To be the hands and feet of the Lord here on earth is a great honor... it's like getting the best GATship in the world! Sure, it's work, but it's beautiful work that brings peace... just like everything else that the Lord God has created.
What a perfectly beautiful Master Plan!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Would You, Could You... In a Whale? - Jonah and the Everywhere Prayer
I Will Pray to Him
Yesterday, Pastor gave a very interesting message on Jonah, one that I really appreciated. Many people give Jonah a hard time. He's certainly not the golden boy of the Bible. In fact, he's more of the 'black sheep' character. And, frankly, I don't quite get it.
I mean, what did he ever do? He ran away, sure, but didn't the Prodigal Son? And Jonah returned, too. Whether it was poverty and hunger or being inside a whale, to me it seems similar. And Jonah saved a city! I think it's time we recognize some of the finer qualities of this Jonah character. For instance, Jonah prayed.
In a Whale
1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. 2 He said:
"In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave [a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4 I said, 'I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.'
5 The engulfing waters threatened me, [b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O LORD my God.
7 "When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
8 "Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the LORD."
10 And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. (Jonah 2)
There are a few things surprising about Jonah's prayer. First of all- location. He's inside a whale. It's dark, it's disgusting, it's scary, and it probably doesn't smell too nice, to say the least. I mean, when was the last time you were inside a whale, figuratively. It looked dark and dismal. You can't see the light at the end of the paper, or at the end of the workday, or at the end of the endless job applications. But, not only is Jonah praying in there, but listen to the tenor of his prayers! Jonah isn't crying all poor me, what a horrible situation. He is praying "with a song of thanksgiving," vowing to give himself to God. Some may say that's only out of fear. But what's wrong with that? I know I'd be scared, and plenty of us turn to God in times of fear... which we should do. We should turn to our Lord in all times, and we should fear the one who has power beyond our capacity to acknowledge it and recognize it.
Yesterday I went with my friend Jenn to pick up some chairs from a yard sale waaaaaay out towards the mountains. And I told her, "When I'm out here, I realize that Tucson is really beautiful." The mountains are huge. They seem to grow... and the quiet calm expanse somehow reminds me of the greatness of God. We should 'fear' (or honor, glorify, humbly come before) the one Lord Creator who was able to make all of this and make it good. He built these mountains, he can move them. If we were to call anyone from a belly of a whale, it should be God.
And I Will Pray to Him
In Brazil
Psalm 54
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Amaskil of David. When the Ziphites had gone to Saul and said, "Is not David hiding among us?" [a]
1 Save me, O God, by your name;
vindicate me by your might. 2 Hear my prayer, O God;
listen to the words of my mouth.
3 Strangers (Problems with data) are attacking me;
ruthless men (equations) seek my life—
men (presentations) without regard for God.
Selah
4 Surely God is my help;
the Lord is the one who sustains me.
5 Let evil recoil on those who slander me;
in your faithfulness destroy them.
6 I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you;
I will praise your name, O LORD,
for it is good.
7 For he has delivered me from all my troubles (deadlines),
and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes (Comps).
Psalm 55
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Amaskil of David. [b]
1 Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea; 2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts (data) trouble me and I am distraught
3 at the voice of the enemy (impending deadline),
at the stares of the wicked (presentation);
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger.
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death (failure) assail me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away (to Katie) and be at rest-
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert (in Tucson);
Selah
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm."
9 Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city (research).
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls (computer screen);
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city (time record) ;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend (PhD program),
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the grave, [c]
for evil finds lodging among them.
16 But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
18 He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many (current situations with research projects) oppose me.
19 God, who is enthroned forever,
will hear them and afflict them—
Selah
men who never change their ways
and have no fear of God.
20 My companion (research) attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
21 His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.
22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
23 But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you.
Psalm 56
For the director of music. To the tune of "A Dove on Distant Oaks." Of David. A miktam . When the Philistines had seized him in Gath. [d]
1 Be merciful to me, O God, for men (projects) hotly pursue me;
all day long they press their attack. 2 My slanderers pursue me all day long;
many are attacking me in their pride.
3 When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man (PhD programs) do to me?
5 All day long they twist my words;
they are always plotting to harm me.
6 They conspire, they lurk,
they watch my steps,
eager to take my life.
7 On no account let them escape;
in your anger, O God, bring down the nations.
8 Record my lament;
list my tears on your scroll [e]—
are they not in your record?
9 Then my enemies will turn back
when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.
10 In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise-
11 in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can man (PhD programs, data) do to me?
12 I am under vows to you, O God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
13 For you have delivered me [f] from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life. [g]
This trip to Brazil for Brad hasn't come without its trials... difficulties with data and recorded times, lost luggage and less time working in the field than he had hoped for. So yesterday, I sent Brad these Psalms, minorly addit-ed (I didn't take anything out... just added some anologies) for his situation. And I think we can all see ourselves there sometimes. Though it may not be PhD programs and data that are causing problems, it might be family conflicts or decisions or car trouble or work relationships or any number of things. And it's frustrating.
What I find beautiful about this Psalm is that David is not hiding his feelings... his fear... his anxiety... his frustrations... his wish to just be somewhere else. But yet, it is a beautiful Psalm. David constantly returns to: "God in who I trust," "I will trust in You," and "Cast your cares on the Lord."
And I will pray to Him in a Whale,
And I will pray to Him in Brazil,
And on the job,
And in the home,
And on a run,
And on the phone.
Yes, I Will Pray to Him
Here and There,
I Will Pray to Him Everywhere.
And He Will Hear the Prayers I Send,
Thank You, Thank You, Great I Am.
Yesterday, Pastor gave a very interesting message on Jonah, one that I really appreciated. Many people give Jonah a hard time. He's certainly not the golden boy of the Bible. In fact, he's more of the 'black sheep' character. And, frankly, I don't quite get it.
I mean, what did he ever do? He ran away, sure, but didn't the Prodigal Son? And Jonah returned, too. Whether it was poverty and hunger or being inside a whale, to me it seems similar. And Jonah saved a city! I think it's time we recognize some of the finer qualities of this Jonah character. For instance, Jonah prayed.
In a Whale
1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. 2 He said:
"In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave [a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4 I said, 'I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.'
5 The engulfing waters threatened me, [b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O LORD my God.
7 "When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
8 "Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the LORD."
10 And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. (Jonah 2)
There are a few things surprising about Jonah's prayer. First of all- location. He's inside a whale. It's dark, it's disgusting, it's scary, and it probably doesn't smell too nice, to say the least. I mean, when was the last time you were inside a whale, figuratively. It looked dark and dismal. You can't see the light at the end of the paper, or at the end of the workday, or at the end of the endless job applications. But, not only is Jonah praying in there, but listen to the tenor of his prayers! Jonah isn't crying all poor me, what a horrible situation. He is praying "with a song of thanksgiving," vowing to give himself to God. Some may say that's only out of fear. But what's wrong with that? I know I'd be scared, and plenty of us turn to God in times of fear... which we should do. We should turn to our Lord in all times, and we should fear the one who has power beyond our capacity to acknowledge it and recognize it.
Yesterday I went with my friend Jenn to pick up some chairs from a yard sale waaaaaay out towards the mountains. And I told her, "When I'm out here, I realize that Tucson is really beautiful." The mountains are huge. They seem to grow... and the quiet calm expanse somehow reminds me of the greatness of God. We should 'fear' (or honor, glorify, humbly come before) the one Lord Creator who was able to make all of this and make it good. He built these mountains, he can move them. If we were to call anyone from a belly of a whale, it should be God.
And I Will Pray to Him
In Brazil
Psalm 54
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Amaskil of David. When the Ziphites had gone to Saul and said, "Is not David hiding among us?" [a]
1 Save me, O God, by your name;
vindicate me by your might. 2 Hear my prayer, O God;
listen to the words of my mouth.
3 Strangers (Problems with data) are attacking me;
ruthless men (equations) seek my life—
men (presentations) without regard for God.
Selah
4 Surely God is my help;
the Lord is the one who sustains me.
5 Let evil recoil on those who slander me;
in your faithfulness destroy them.
6 I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you;
I will praise your name, O LORD,
for it is good.
7 For he has delivered me from all my troubles (deadlines),
and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes (Comps).
Psalm 55
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Amaskil of David. [b]
1 Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea; 2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts (data) trouble me and I am distraught
3 at the voice of the enemy (impending deadline),
at the stares of the wicked (presentation);
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger.
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death (failure) assail me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away (to Katie) and be at rest-
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert (in Tucson);
Selah
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm."
9 Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city (research).
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls (computer screen);
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city (time record) ;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend (PhD program),
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the grave, [c]
for evil finds lodging among them.
16 But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
18 He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many (current situations with research projects) oppose me.
19 God, who is enthroned forever,
will hear them and afflict them—
Selah
men who never change their ways
and have no fear of God.
20 My companion (research) attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
21 His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.
22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
23 But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you.
Psalm 56
For the director of music. To the tune of "A Dove on Distant Oaks." Of David. A miktam . When the Philistines had seized him in Gath. [d]
1 Be merciful to me, O God, for men (projects) hotly pursue me;
all day long they press their attack. 2 My slanderers pursue me all day long;
many are attacking me in their pride.
3 When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man (PhD programs) do to me?
5 All day long they twist my words;
they are always plotting to harm me.
6 They conspire, they lurk,
they watch my steps,
eager to take my life.
7 On no account let them escape;
in your anger, O God, bring down the nations.
8 Record my lament;
list my tears on your scroll [e]—
are they not in your record?
9 Then my enemies will turn back
when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.
10 In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise-
11 in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can man (PhD programs, data) do to me?
12 I am under vows to you, O God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
13 For you have delivered me [f] from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life. [g]
This trip to Brazil for Brad hasn't come without its trials... difficulties with data and recorded times, lost luggage and less time working in the field than he had hoped for. So yesterday, I sent Brad these Psalms, minorly addit-ed (I didn't take anything out... just added some anologies) for his situation. And I think we can all see ourselves there sometimes. Though it may not be PhD programs and data that are causing problems, it might be family conflicts or decisions or car trouble or work relationships or any number of things. And it's frustrating.
What I find beautiful about this Psalm is that David is not hiding his feelings... his fear... his anxiety... his frustrations... his wish to just be somewhere else. But yet, it is a beautiful Psalm. David constantly returns to: "God in who I trust," "I will trust in You," and "Cast your cares on the Lord."
And I will pray to Him in a Whale,
And I will pray to Him in Brazil,
And on the job,
And in the home,
And on a run,
And on the phone.
Yes, I Will Pray to Him
Here and There,
I Will Pray to Him Everywhere.
And He Will Hear the Prayers I Send,
Thank You, Thank You, Great I Am.
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