The Time is Now... and Forever

From the Beginning to the End of the Year

The eyes of the Lord your God are always on [the land], from the beginning of the year to the very end of the year. —Deuteronomy 11:12

Last year around New Years, I remember a reflection that hit me strongly, and I remember it even now. It was a depiction of God as a "middle C." No matter where you are, C is always C. It's a note that stays the same despite the changing years, ages, circumstances. Even within a year, so much can change. Last year, I never would've quite imagined this. In fact, flying back to Tucson after the first of the year, I was quite sure that I had gained myself a good friend as opposed to any hopes of anything more. But,things change. This thought might sometimes sadden us (when things are going our way), and sometimes excite us (when things aren't). But it is true. But the thing that never changes will always give us hope and joy and love overflowing... and that is the Lord our God... who is with us from the very beginning to the very end of each year.


The Beginning and the End of Judgment

1 "See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the LORD Almighty.

2 But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, 4 and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the LORD, as in days gone by, as in former years.

5 "So I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me," says the LORD Almighty.

Just the other day I was reading Malachi with Brad, and Chapter 3 has a lot to do with my reflection yesterday. Thank goodness that it is only for the Lord to judge, because I myself cannot hope to make such decisions. I don't know the heart... as 2 Samuel reminds that God does. And because God knows the heart, He's here with us all year long, working like a refiner's fire or launderer's soap... to change our hearts and purify them as they need to be changed. One of my favorite songs by Third Day is "Consuming Fire," not exactly my style of music as it's a bit 'harder' rock, but even the tune is fitting. Because it's a 'hard' subject... God comes and refines us with His fire, and it's hard. But, I pray that God changes my heart this year... from the very beginning to the very end... refine me Lord.


The Beginning and the End

12"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. 13I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.


The Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, keep me strong and faithful throughout the entirety of this year, Lord. Thank You for being the one who will guide me today and forever.

A New Year's Resolution: Refinement & Radiance

Resolution

22let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -Hebrews 10:22-25

I feel like there's so much in this scripture today... in fact, perhaps it's a beautiful New Years Resolution for each one of us: devotion (a sincere heart), faith (in full assurance), repentence and acceptance of God's forgiveness (our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us...), spiritual community with our Brethren (meeting together), good deeds, encouragement in the faith (spur one another on). The encouragement part is mentioned twice, and this year I especially pray that while I aim to strengthen my walk with the Lord, that I may also encourage others to do so. I'm not sure yet. Lord, please lead me in what ways I may find to follow you and also spur on my brothers and sisters in their walks with you.


Refinement

8 In the whole land," declares the LORD,
"two-thirds will be struck down and perish;
yet one-third will be left in it.

9 This third I will bring into the fire;
I will refine them like silver
and test them like gold.
They will call on my name
and I will answer them;
I will say, 'They are my people,'
and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' "
-Zechariah 13:8-9


This morning I'm thinking about how last Christmas I brought home one book- my Spanish Bible. This year I brought home 6 books, all 'fun' reading related to my school work. Now, that's partly because I lean on my online Bible source, but this isn't something I'm pleased about as i now take time to think about it. "Where my treasure is, there my heart will be also." I want to have the dust of my Savior on me, not other rabbis... Lord help me to keep my eyes fixed upon You this year... just a closer walk with thee, Lord. This year, it will be especially important. Guide me. I need you to refine me, Lord. I pray that I'm that 1/3 that isn't perfect but needs refinement. Like the silver and gold, Lord. I want to shine for you.


Radiance

9One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, "Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb." 10And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. 11It shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. -Revelation 21:9-11

22I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. 23The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. 24The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. 25On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. 26The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it. 27Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life. -Revelations 21:22-27

These scriptures about brides are all the more real to me, as I look forward to Josh & Diana's wedding this Spring. The 'bride' in the scripture is a beautiful metaphor for Christ's relationship to the church, but seeing the images of beautiful brides like Diana will be helps me to realize that we are "radiant" and "treasured" and "precious" to the Lord. Lord, I trust that as I remain close to You this year, You will make me like the city, like the bride that doesn't need sun or moon, but shines with Your glory and Your light.

You have blessed me so, Lord. I thank You so much for the time of renewal and refreshment, for a wonderful family and new family. I ask that You continue to guide me this year... and teach me how to be radiant, to shine for You.

I'm... I'm... I'm... angry!

25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. -Ephesians 4:25-27

Now, I know this is a strange verse to be reading around Christmas time, but it's a good message and still very much needed. Perhaps especially now... when emotions are running high with unexpected blizzards and last minute shopping. Last night, we watched the cute movie "Enchanted," which my friend Ricardo in Brazil would call "agua com azucar"... sugar water. A sweet light little movie, but the enchanted princess transplanted in New York City is able to experience 'anger' for the first time. In fact, she has a hard time putting a name to her emotion... finally able to say, "I'm... I'm... I'm... just so... angry! I'm angry!" Giggling a little after the fact, relieved to be able to say it.

Sometimes it's hard for us as Christians to put a name to this emotion, but it isn't really founded. Ephesians reminds us that while we may be angry, the important thing is to remember "in your anger, do not sin."

In fact, the writer of the ODB suggests that, "Sometimes anger appropriately calls our attention to an injustice that needs to be addressed, and we are spurred to righteous action." However, this is not the case most of the time. Instead, our anger is often "selfishly ignited by the violation of our expectations, rights, and privileges." Instead, we need to know how to make our anger constructive, speaking truthfully to our neighbors for the building up of the body.

I have to say that I have a hard time with one part of this verse: do not let the sun go down on your anger. Sometimes I feel like I need time before I can really talk things out. Perhaps what is easier for me is to talk to my neighbor and reassure them of my love and forgiveness before the sun goes down, but then to really resolve things in the morning.

Seeking to Live & Living Water

4 This is what the LORD says to the house of Israel:
"Seek me and live;

5 do not seek Bethel,
do not go to Gilgal,
do not journey to Beersheba.
For Gilgal will surely go into exile,
and Bethel will be reduced to nothing. [e] "

6 Seek the LORD and live,
or he will sweep through the house of Joseph like a fire;
it will devour,
and Bethel will have no one to quench it.

7 You who turn justice into bitterness
and cast righteousness to the ground

8 (he who made the Pleiades and Orion,
who turns blackness into dawn
and darkens day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea
and pours them out over the face of the land—
the LORD is his name-

9 he flashes destruction on the stronghold
and brings the fortified city to ruin),

10 you hate the one who reproves in court
and despise him who tells the truth.

11 You trample on the poor
and force him to give you grain.
Therefore, though you have built stone mansions,
you will not live in them;
though you have planted lush vineyards,
you will not drink their wine.

12 For I know how many are your offenses
and how great your sins.
You oppress the righteous and take bribes
and you deprive the poor of justice in the courts.

13 Therefore the prudent man keeps quiet in such times,
for the times are evil.

14 Seek good, not evil,
that you may live.
Then the LORD God Almighty will be with you,
just as you say he is.
-Amos 5:4-16

In just a few verse, there is the constant repetition of "seek God and live." God offers us life... and I would argue that in seeking Him, spending time in His word, attempting to follow His ways, we are living. In a very real way, His ways lead to righteousness. It feels like the greatest challenge in life is not to lose the LIFE in life. We get so busy with so many things, that we forget to seek the true LIFE that God offers to us. As it says in verse, 6, we might write:

do not seek money,
do not go after your own desires,
do not journey in order to gain your own fame.
For money is only of the earth.
And fame is fleeting and takes from LIFE.

It's hard as a grad student, to keep LIFE in our life, even at the most busy times... we need to take time to seek the life that He offers us, the living water... mentioned in the following verse:

16Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." - Revelations 7:16-17

Lord I thank You for wiping my tears... even when they are foolishly spilled over stress or work or worries. You love me so much, Father... thank You for all the blessings that You have given me. For Your constant, constant love... and for the LIVING water that renews my soul this morning.

I offer myself... to seek You, to seek Your will for my life.

The Forevers and the For Nows

Forever, O Lord, Your Word is settled in heaven. —Psalm 119:89

This morning I'm thankful for the things that are forever:
God's love in my heart
His Word in heaven
His Guidance, Protection, Love, Forgiveness, Mercy, Strength

And I'm thankful for the things that are just for now (in this moment/on the earth):
Fear, Anger, Bitterness, Hatred, Injustice
Ambition, Selfishness, Competition, Poverty
currently- Finals!

But Your Word is forever, Father! Forever, even in Finals week! Please let me keep Your word on my heart this day and always.

Ready to Rend

Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity. -Joel 1:13

"Rend" is not a word we use often, but it simply means "to rip or tear violently". In the Bible, we read oftentimes about people who tore their clothes when they were in mourning or despair. But, Joel says that we must tear our hearts instead. When you tear something, it is a permanent change of state. A syntactic test that proves it is that you can't un-tear something. It is torn. (Similar to the way you can't un-cook or un-break something... although my wish for an "undo" button would change this!) So, when you tear your heart, that's a real change. That's what God wants. Instead of just saying I'm sorry with your voice, he wants you to say it with your heart- with your life... in a change that is real. Change your heart, and return to the Lord...reassured by his unfailing love, and his promise... that everyone who calls upon His name will be saved.

Thank You, Father, for Your promises and Your blessings. Teach me to rend my heart and return to You.

And everyone who calls
on the name of the LORD will be saved;
for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem
there will be deliverance,
as the LORD has said,
among the survivors
whom the LORD calls. Joel 1:32

Those Who I Love, I Rebuke

14"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." -Revelations 3:14-22

As I've currently been giving countless hours to a study on direct/indirect discourse styles in Composition Class Peer Review Sessions, I can't help but relate this passage to those findings. While the study itself exists because there is variation, the interesting thing is how resist many people are to giving negative feedback. I have one student who said nothing but positive comments over the course of the whole Peer Review session. And his partner's paper was a C+ (although I might've given a B- as a gift), there was certainly room for correction!

My professor Norma Mendoza Denton (who wrote an AMAZING book about girl gang culture) was recently telling us about the importance of having an advisor who is willing to give honest feedback. They need to be able to tell you when something needs to be fixed.

Well, we all have the very best advisor and wonderful counselor in Jesus. He knows what we need, and he's never distant. He stands at the door and kncoks. And best of all, his rebuke comes out of love.

The Undo Button of Life

Peter went out and wept bitterly. —Luke 22:62

The sign that I have been on the computer writing too much lately, I find myself wanting to press the undo button after real life events. Example, I put my hair into an unruly ponytail. Undo. I began cooking pasta and then decided to just grab a sandwich instead. Undo. I returned my books when I still had one more thing to look at. Undo.

But sometimes even on the computer we can't undo our mistakes. Example: I was crushed last night when I realized that I hadn't saved and somehow my Word closed without the autorecovery document coming up. An hour's work down the tube! That is never a good thing, especially when you're exhausted.

But with Jesus, we don't have to worry about closing the wrong window... when we shut Him out, He's there waiting for us... all we have to do with is go to the door... ask, knock, and seek.

Thanks for the Guidance!

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. —Proverbs 3:6

Lord this morning I'm so thankful for a kind and understanding family and boyfriend, who are always there for me.

And I'm so thankful for your answer to prayer- an understanding professor- which is really calming my heart right now.

Direct my paths today Father, so it may all be to Your glory- all my work, all my interactions with everyone, all of everything.

A Little Child

O Lord my God, You have made Your servant king instead of my father David, but I am a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. —1 Kings 3:7

This is an interesting verse for me to read right now, as I'm questioning my direction for next year. But even people who aren't making such a 'next step' decision always have something to decide. Whether it is what to do for Christmas? New Year's Resolutions?

Right now I do feel rather weak... and it's good to know that I don't need to know it all. My heavenly Father will show me the way. And even King David (servant king) was ok with admiting when he didn't know.

Brokenness

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart. —Psalm 51:17

11Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. -John 3:1

I remember that in church we used to puzzle over the verse to a praise song that said, "Brokenness is what I long for." How could you long for brokenness? Brokenness can't be a good thing. A broken catcard, a broken computer, a broken alarm clock, all very bad things. Even worse a broken spirit! But, this kind of brokenness is different.

"Contrite" is a word that's not used very often, and I feel people often confuse it with the word "trite," which sounds similar but is almost opposite in terms of meaning. Since, it is essential to understanding this passage, "contrite" is feeling sorrow or regret for one's sins.

Now, we can look back and understand the need for brokenness. If the catcard weren't broken, you wouldn't take it to the student services desk. If the computer weren't broken, you wouldn't take it to the store. If the alarm clock weren't broken, you wouldn't take it to the shop. If your heart weren't broken, you wouldn't take it to God. We need to be broken in order to understand our sins.

Lord, like Paul, I'm thankful that I'm incapable, that I can't on my own, that I'm feeling broken right now for the sins I've committed- for I know that sin affect not only myself but other and You dear Lord. But it has brought me back to You. Thank You for Your forgiveness Father. Plesae use me in some small way today.

True peace is not the absence of war; it is the presence of God. —Loveless

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:7

At this time of the semester, I feel that we do need the peace that passes all understanding. Guard our hearts this day, dear Lord... let us feel and show your peace.

16 So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions' den. The king said to Daniel, "May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!"

This morning I take note of the "continually" and thank my Father for continually rescuing me from things that have brought me down. In church yesterday Hermano Pina mentioned that the evil spirits that surround us are like dogs... they can smell fear. Whether you call them evil spirits or temptations, we don't need to fear, because our Father always is here to rescue us.

3Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us in truth and love.

In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. —Psalm 16:11

This Christmastime this is particularly meaningful to me. It is not presents we need but his PRESENCE. I believe this His is the spirit that makes Christmastime so special. I remember sitting at home and listening to the sound of the Messiah, shoveling the driveway and coming inside to a cup of hot chocolate and some warm chocolate chip cookies, calling friends and loved ones and greeting them with a Christmas smile. It's not even those specific events or actions... it's the warmth that fills you as you remember the best Christmas gift ever. ODB has a particularly beautiful reflection on the topic this morning... good to remember that it is the Christmas season and NOT Finals season/Shopping season/etc... first things first.

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Last night I went to the GCF Christmas party, and I was reminded that love comes from God. We sang some beautiful Christmas songs... and I loved it! Great music, great songs... while we didn't quite get "Lo How a Rose," we'll save that for next time. And it was so great to see everyone and to think about other things besides school for a while. The thing is, when I arrived, I was still very much 'not present.' I was still with my work... which has piled up very quickly (especially in light of my due date which appears to be one week early). But, after donning some fairy wings, seeing Lise model plastic bags and having my cat with the radio-active eyes 'stolen,' the laughter had taken that away for a bit. I was finally present with my friends... loving being with them... and feeling that love that comes from God! What a beautiful present!

Side Note: Daniel 1:11-16 has an interesting plea for vegetarianism! (Ok, ok, so it's really about following what the Lord has called you to do and how He helps make things possible for those who are faithful... but it's in there.. Look it up!)

When the Going Gets Tougher

It seems that when things are tough, other things want to add to it.

Last night I did laundry and must've had the clothes in the dryer too long. (It was a really huge load of laundry, so I figured it needed it.) Anyway, they shrunk. Some things aren't too bad, but the jeans are the worst- especially since I only have two pair... and they were both in there.

Some of you might know why this is particularly hard for me. I just managed to squeeze into them, looked at myself and cried. This it the exact worst time for this to happen to me. When I'm stressed, I always feel like I need to lose weight (to try to control something again). But, this made me feel like I "need" to lose so much weight in a way that's filled with negative feelings. Now it's really hard to fight them off. I know it seems stupid- all because of an overactive laundry machine- but isn't it usually stupid. Isn't it usually the trivial things in life that can really get to us?

Void, if you're out there, please say an extra prayer for me today. I'll pretend that this prayer is for me... and for all of us who are just having a tough time today... It's time to pull out that secret weapon: He who STRENGTHENS us... please strengthen us today, Lord.

14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen
-Ephesians 3:14-21

His Out-of-This-World Gifts!

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? —Romans 8:32

15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. -1 John 2: 15-17

This beautiful verse from Romans serves to remind us that if God was selfless enough to give His only Son, His Son (He not with Him) also is that selfless and giving... as was rightly proven through Jesus' life and death. It's like the Heifer project... where you buy a cow for a family and the family gives that cow's calf to another family... and so on and so forth. God gave His Son, His Son gave eternal life through His death, His death gave eternal life... and His message of hope is passed from heart to heart... and so on and so forth. I'm not much of a mathematician, but I would say it grows exponentially.

The gifts He gives aren't of this world. Pride is often mentioned in the Bible, and again I think it's important to remember the context- an extremely hierarchical society- where you were defined by your status (your job, your family name, your money). But, have things changed that much? Aren't we surrounded with labels such as brand names, level of education, occupation, neighborhood/home, etc. God reminds us that it's not about "the things of this world." Instead, we need to thank God for th heavenly gifts He showers upon us. Father, we thank You for Your out-of-this-world gifts this season!

Is He in You?

He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. —1 John 4:4

I think that Gatorade had this slogan years ago. "Is it in you?" They showed images of fluorescent colors filling athletes before they would do incredible things. Now, at this time of the year, we need to all ask ourselves: "Is He in you?" His greatness and power are 100x the strength of Gatorade, and it's helpful on such a greater level. God's power isn't doesn't just give us strength to climb that rock wall but to climb the metophorical "mountain" of papers to write or taxes to pay or gifts to buy. What we need to ask this holiday season is: "Is He in you?" If not, fill up... and you'll overflow with love... overcoming the "mountains" of this world.

5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. -1 John 1:5-10

A further reason we need God in our lives... there is NO darkness in him. Artists recognize the importance of light and darkness in the shading involved in their work. In fact, you're hard pressed to find a place where there is absolutely no "darkness." Of course here we're not talking about physical darkness or lightness, but we're considering the light- guidance, perfection, safety, warmth, love, clarity that God provides as opposed to the dark- fear, danger, ruin, lack, old, cold, unuseful.

I think it's always important to remember the context. At that time, streets weren't filled with street lights, and there wasn't electricity to flip a switch, create an artificial daytime and pull an all-nighter. Darkness meant unproductivity, staying at home, inability to do pretty much anything. On an emotional level, they say that people in Alaska have more trouble adjusting to darkness than to the cold. Darkness is often link to fear, sadness, many negative emotions. No wonder it's so hard to get out of bed in the wintertime! And that's why people began the tradition of the Christmas lights... to fill the winter darkness with the light of Christ that came into a dark world. This season let's fill our hearts with His light... invite His light into your heart and your home this holiday season, as we reflect on the beauty of Christmas.

What Can I Give... Poor As I Am?

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!-2 Corinthians 9:15

As a little girl, I remember how we used to sing in Sunday School...

"What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?"

As a carefree little girl, well-taken-care-of by my parents, I had not a worry in the world. I didn't feel poor at all. I could put a quarter in the offering plate, which my parents had passed on to me. I didn't know the struggle of "what can I give...?"

But recently, as a grad student... having sacrificed a summer of earnings, I've felt the pinch. On Black Friday, I went out with my parents to buy a new computer (since mine was no longer working properly), and I had an mini-emotional breakdown of sorts. It was about priorities (what did this spending say about where my priorities were), it was about selfish desires and consumerism (why was I spending this money on me), but it was also about the fact that this computer cost half of all the money I have to my name, and Christmas is coming. I save up all year so that I can give the people I love at least something little... something to show how much I love and appreciate them. And now I really feel like, what can I give them, poor as I am?

But the song answers that question:

"If I were a wiseman,
I would do my part.
But what can I give Him?
I'll give my heart."

So even though I might not be able to give the gifts I'd like to give this season, ODB has some ideas... and hopefully people will know that these come with a lot of heart:

• The gift of listening. No interrupting, no planning your response. Just listening.

• The gift of affection. Being generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, and pats on the back.

• The gift of laughter. Sharing funny stories and jokes. Your gift will say, “I love to laugh with you.”

• The gift of a written note. Expressing in a brief, handwritten note your appreciation or affection.

• The gift of a compliment. Sincerely saying, “You look great today” or “You are special” can bring a smile.

And best of all... the gift of the news of Jesus as Lord and Savior and His indescribable gift of eternal life.


With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day....The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare...But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. -2 Peter 3:8,10,13

As I mentioned last week, one of the most precious gifts a grad student can give is their time. In fact, I'm convinced that it's not just grad students these days. It's the travelling businessman, it's the overbooked high school student athlete, it's the ________. Everyone is busy these days, and I really wonder why. We've created all these devices to make us more efficient and effective, and I wonder whether they will be our demise. Since we can do things faster, we have to do more things. And it somehow seems so all-important.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe that we should glorify God with everything we do- and that means everything from construction work to a college paper to a grad student presentation at a conference. However, we have to keep in mind that our days are numbered. That our perception of time is not the same as God's, and that all this will disappear. Really, we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth. It's so easy for me, especially at the end of a hectic semester, to get so wrapped up in my work that I can't see out of it... I can't see the beauty of being with my family or the joy of advent. I spent the first few days of Thanksgiving break caught up in giving every moment to my studies. Then, I realized that I had sacrificed more important things- my family and my Lord. Lord, help me to keep in mind that everything in this world will be laid bare. Yours is the important and eternal kingdom... and I give my heart to You first.

What Matters Most- ThanksGIVING

~Usually, we concentrate on the THANKS part of Thanksgiving, but this year I'm focused on the GIVING part. We are just supposed to 'be' thankful, we are to 'give' thanks. I don't know about you, but I see a difference. Being thankful is all of an inward thing, while giving thanks is reflecting that thanks to the Lord, an active doing and presenting the Lord with expressions of gratefulness. This Thanksgiving, I want to give Thanks to my Lord for all the good things He has given me... and give thanks to those who surround me.... just as Jesus showed us by example (Mark 10) and taught us (1 Peter 1).

Jesus Gives Thanks
The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve. —Mark 10:45

To me, the whole Thanksgiving meal is actually an analogy of Thanksgiving. First of all, it's hard to give to someone, if they're not there. So, we gather around the table... coming from near and far to be with one another. Then, we give thanks together, and everyone has something to give. At most Thanksgivings I've been at, it's been at least semi-potluck style. Even within our family, someone would give time to set the table, another would give effort to run to the store for that inevitably forgotten last ingredient, another would give energy to cook and prepare delicious dishes, another would give joyful conversation, and another would give the gift of cleaning up the many pots, pans and dishes. Perhaps that's why Paul in Acts mentions how the church would meet together for a meal: an opportunity to practice serving, just as Jesus did before us. Serving involves giving of yourself for the benefit of another.

Last night we had a lovely little potluck at my place. Ruth, Joseph, Michelle, Jess, Pacifica and I enjoyed a meal together. And they all gave me the wonderful present of their presence, being there and giving each other our time (which I believe is the most precious commodity of a grad student). Lord, this Thanksgiving, I once again dedicate myself to You. Help keep me focused on serving and giving to You and all Your children.

A Mind on Things Above

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. —Colossians 3:2

Life in Heaven
²⁵ "Yet you say, 'The way of the Lord is not just.' Hear, O house of Israel: Is my way unjust? Is it not your ways that are unjust?.... ³² For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live! -Ezekiel 18:25, 32

This morning I'm feeling the sadness a bit for the Salerno family... yet another life has ended and we cry out, "Why? She was so young. She was too young." But she was in pain; she was not herself for a long time.

So what my father told me at my taunt's funeral seems relevant: "Katie, when we cry at funerals, our sadness is somewhat of a selfish sadness.... because we know that the person is better off. Taunt is rejoicing today, happy and healthy... in heaven with Jesus. But we're sad, because she's no longer here with us. We need to remember that we're not sad for her... but we're so happy because she's in the best place ever."

Indeed, Taunt is living with the Lord, the most wonderful place ever, as is Tricia and Amanda and so many other wonderful people. They're really living... we're just preparing for that day. Still it's hard, and still it's sad, and this isn't going to make it feel any better but somehow it helps to remember that our Lord is just and loving and He promises us Life.

Friendship with Heaven
⁴You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? ⁶But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble." -James 4:4-6

What does it mean to have friendship with the world? It seems to me that James is talking about consumerism, materialism, greed, ambition, etc... especially when followed the by scripture references. The world is full of temptations... telling us that this or that is more important, distractions to take us away from the Heaven goal. Lord, teach me to follow Your ways and stay away from the temptations of this world. You're the one I care about.

Each One

How to Appreciate Each One

-a minister with gifts from God

As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. —1 Peter 4:10

How to Treat Each One

-a precious child of God independent of wealth (no favoritism allowed)

¹My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. ²Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. ³If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," ⁴have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

⁵Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? ⁶But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? ⁷Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong? -James 2:1-7

Money, Get Away

⁴¹Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴²But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.

⁴³Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on." -Mark 12:41-44

The woman and her offering... she gave so much. And it was to her benefit. Sometimes I think we forget that giving does us good too. There is something about money, this strange symbolic system, that is contrary to the way that we are meant to live in this world. Of all the things that the church emphasizes, this is one that it often forgets... yet it is one of the topics Jesus most talked about! And last night, we finished up Romans 6, where we read about how we are to "offer" ourselves in obedience as a slave to God. Our very lives should be an offering. Every day, everything. It's similar to our money. Just as it's not enough to give out of our wealth, it's not enough to give the extra time left over... we have to give all we have to live on.

¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. -Hebrews 12:1-3

This is one of my favorite verses, and this morning it also seems to relate quite well to the previous verse. We need to "throw off" everything that hinders us as well as sin. Money can be a hindrance and a sin if we focus on that instead of fixing our eyes on Jesus. I like that image of "throwing off" also. Every day we are challenged to focus on obeying God, making an effort to live it for Him... remembering who our Lord is and the joy we have in His miraculous story.. so we don't lose heart.

Amidst Sorrow & Joy

In Singing and Sadness

When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the LORD, the priests in their vestments and with trumpets, and the Levites (the sons of Asaph) with cymbals, took their places to praise the LORD, as prescribed by David king of Israel. ¹¹ With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD :
"He is good;
his love to Israel endures forever."
And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. ¹² But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. ¹³ No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away. -Ezra 3:10-13

I LOVE this passage, and I don't think I've taken much notice of it until today. As they rebuilt Solomon's temple it was one of those frequent moments of bittersweet emotions. Sweet in the joy of building a new temple... bitter in sadness of the temple that had been destroyed by war and violence.

I remember talking to my dad about all the memories that he had, and he told me it made him a bit sad. I didn't understand why at the time, but he was happy to talk about his parents and his childhood, but he was sad that it was a part of his life that he wouldn't get back.

The same thing happens to me so many times with the so many things that remind me of Amanda. Most recently I was playing guitar hero (so much fun), and there was a Dylan song. I just had to play that one of course... and I tangled up in blue-ed for Amanda- fun but also a bit sad.

But I think it's important to point out that in the verse they are not the same people who are singing and weeping. Different people are singing and weeping, so that there is always a chorus of laughter and tears... so much the truth in our lives, and it's so important. If not, the world would all be chaos and grief at once... this way we can carry each other through in the times when we feel faint.

His Love Never Fails

I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.

¹⁸ So I say, "My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD."

¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

²⁰ I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD. -Lamentations 3:17-26

These verses are much more familiar, and I love them, and I love the poetry in it. The sadness so clearly expressed and then the 'bridge' or 'turning point'- "Yet I call to mind...." When we are feeling that way we need to remember God. We need to wait and hope in Him and seek Him.

This week I was feeling so distraught at one point that I just couldn't see God. I couldn't recognize my value... I felt like I had committed an unforgivable sin. I felt like all my value had disappeared, and I was doing more harm in so many ways than good. But so many angels came along my side and helped me to remember exactly what I needed to hear: God is the one who ultimately gives me value, He will never give up on me, His love is unfailing. And that is what I need to remember, amidst the sorrow and amidst the joy.

We Don't Shrink Back

³⁵So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. ³⁶You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ³⁷For in just a very little while,
"He who is coming will come and will not delay.
³⁸But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him." ³⁹But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. -Hebrews 10:35-39

These verses remind me of a slinky... I don't know... maybe it's all the repetition of "shrink." Anyway, I remember how I'd put the slinky on my Baba's stairwell... always exciting since we didn't have stairs in our house. If it was planted firmly on the step, it wouldn't move. But there was a delicate tipping point, and when reached it would slink down, down, down, down.

I think it is an analogy for us... if we persevere and are planted squarely (or circlely) on the step of faith, we won't 'slink' back down. We'll stay there, and actually God will move us closer and closer towards Him. But, God will not be pleased if we slink back... moving away from our Lord. Father, help me to remain in You always... firmly planted in Your foundation in the midst of sorrow and joy.

Good For Nothing Vanity

^{Alone We Accomplish Nothing}

³For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. ⁴Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. ⁷If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; ⁸if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. -Romans 12:3-11

It's beautiful to read this scripture this morning- just after Bible Study last night. I found a fun trivia jeopardy game online. And at Bible Study we played the game together. All on the same team, we each contributed something: whether it was an answer to a certain set of questions or choosing the category or keeping track of the score. 13600! (Ok, so what if there was no other team?) Well, some of us are better at remembering names, others are better at recognizing trick questions, yet others will pick out numbers. Together we each did our part in the game.

And it was quite poignant, since we were talking about being 'death to sin' (Romans 6). We need the power of God's glory and grace for that to be true. And I'd also add that we need each other. With the encouragement gleamed from uniting with my brothers and sisters every week, I feel better prepared to keep away from sin, to do my part, and to recognize that alone I can't do anything... but only with God and with the help of His awesome multi-talented kids!

<sup>Boasting Accomplishes Nothing

29</sup> "We have heard of Moab's pride—
her overweening pride and conceit,
her pride and arrogance
and the haughtiness of her heart.

³⁰ I know her insolence but it is futile,"
declares the LORD,
"and her boasts accomplish nothing.-Jeremiah 48:29-30

It can be very tempting to believe someone who acts so certain in what they do and say. But the truth is, you can talk as much as you want, but 'accomplishes nothing.' It's not all that uncommon for the underdog to win. The favorite gets a bit to sure of him/herself. The walk into the game without practicing or taking it to seriously- and the outcome is an 'upset.' Vanity will get you nowhere.

Without Jesus We Accomplish Nothing

²³Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; ²⁴but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. ²⁵Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

²⁶Such a high priest meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. ²⁷Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself. ²⁸For the law appoints as high priests men who are weak; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever. -Hebrews 7:23-26

These are the verses that I really love. We, even those holy appointed high preists, are weak. And our weakness makes us able to recognize our need for Christ. Yet I wonder, how does this fit in with people who talk about holiness and sanctification and being 'dead to sin'?

Some people talk about greater or lesser sins, but I don't quite buy that either. Otherwise, we'd be under the law again: classifying Christians, weighing and measuring. I believe that sin is sin... no matter how great or how large. That's the only way Christ can be the equalizer, level the playing field for people who grew up with 'the silver spoon,' those who grew up in Christian families, and those who grew up without families and without knowing Him.

To me, I think of it as more a change of heart. We are all sinners... but as Christians, we recognize our need for Him to intercede for our sins. Before that change, we didn't recognize that.

In Love with God

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and ⁶ my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

¹¹ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

I've always loved this song, and I still love it. It speaks exactly to what the pastor talked about in church yesterday. We should be so in love with God. When you're in love, you want to spend hours and hours in that person's presence. You want to talk to them forever. You love being with that person and doing anything to make them happy.

We should want to go to church every day to we with our Lord. We should want to talk to Him in prayer every single day. We should long for the moments to read more of His word, to be in fellowship with His people, to talk about Him. We should love pleasing Him, in all the ways He has taught us through scripture.

Lord, fill me with an even deeper desire and longing for You.

It's How You Look at It

Suffering or Serving

¹⁶However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. ¹⁷For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? ¹⁸And,

"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"

¹⁹So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. - 1 Peter 4:16-19

Reflecting on these passages this morning, I think it really does depend on how you look at it. I think about how I don't really feel like I suffer for the gospel. Sometimes I wonder why. But, I think it's just the fact that you can't be both suffering and joyful at the same time. It's a competition, and true joy will always win.

Perhaps some people would think that going away to a land far away from home, earning less than $60 a month and starting over again would be suffering. I came back last year and lived with in a room with the bed and dresser that came with the La Aldea room. I sat on the floor with my laptop, but I never felt the need to buy anything else... What I had in my room was already so much more, so much nicer than what I had in Brazil. But I never, not even when I first arrived there, felt like I was suffering. It was so wonderful. People who've never done that don't understand.

But, maybe it is just me... I remember that the leader of the Study Abroad program warned people not to talk to me... Katie has rose-colored vision. But, why suffer? God wants to fill us with the joy of joining in His service.


Sinning or Struggling

¹Every high priest is selected from among men and is appointed to represent them in matters related to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. ²He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. ³This is why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins, as well as for the sins of the people.

⁴No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was. ⁵So Christ also did not take upon himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him,
"You are my Son;
today I have become your Father." ⁶And he says in another place,
"You are a priest forever,
in the order of Melchizedek."

⁷During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. ⁸Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered ⁹and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him ¹⁰and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek. -Hebrews 5:1-10

I love this passage. While it doesn't mention the word "humility," that is exactly what it's talking about. "No one takes glory upon him/herself." That's comforting, especially right now.

In hearing Lise's father talk about ministry, I got a little nervous. Would I ever be able to do this? But, I need to have faith that God will put me in that position, and recognize that everyone is "subject to weakness." Through prayers, petitions, cries and tears, God will hear me like He heard his Son. He will work on my struggles and prepare me.

Reap What You Sow

<sup>Reap Goodness, Sow Goodness

7</sup>Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. ⁸The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ¹⁰Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. -Galatians 6:7-10

This reminds me of what we talked about in Bible Study last night- what kind of fruit we bear, what good we produce... do good was repeated, I don't know how many times, in the passage of Luke that we looked at. I really like the turn of phrase: Let us not become weary of doing good.... not become weary... that seems to be a grad students goal. The weeks where you have 50 research papers to grade and a poster to present and a presentation in a class... you're just praying that somehow you can make it through on little sleep without growing weary.

But, it's not just grad students. Moms- who have 2 sick kids and are feeling under the weather themselves, making treats for a church bake sale and taking kids to practices. Fathers who are working hard outside and inside the home to somehow balance their work and family time. Lord, let us not become weary of doing good... show us the opportunities you present to us in our business.

<sup>Reap Evil, Sow Evil

26</sup> Then the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah: ²⁷ "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? ²⁸ Therefore, this is what the LORD says: I am about to hand this city over to the Babylonians and to Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, who will capture it. ²⁹ The Babylonians who are attacking this city will come in and set it on fire; they will burn it down, along with the houses where the people provoked me to anger by burning incense on the roofs to Baal and by pouring out drink offerings to other gods. Jeremiah 32:26-29

And the counterexample. Israel and Judah were not doing what was 'good and pleasing' in the Father's eyes... to use the Bible terminology. They were burning incense to Baal and offering things to other gods. And I often wonder if we aren't doing the same thing sometimes... holding our own work, our own ambitions, our own desires and wants and needs above God. Whenever we offer our time to these "idols," we are offering to false gods what belongs to our one true God. Lord, teach me to stay focused on You... offering You everything.

<sup>Reap Righteousness, Sow Righteousness

9</sup>You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions
by anointing you with the oil of joy." Hebrews: 1:9

This verse is puzzling to me this morning. I really think it requires a bit more time, so I hope to look up some commentary on it. It reads as if this is speaking of Jesus... and the phrase "oil of joy" particularly stands out to me. I don't think I remember reading it before... not noticing it at least.

Fear Moves Us to Wisdom, Peace, & Testimony

Fear

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. —Proverbs 9:10

It's quite a cliche- that of the God-fearing man. I can almost hear the Duncar women sitting around their quilts and praying for a God-fearing man. I think 'fear' is so far removed from our vocabulary today. In fact, I believe it's somehow morphed into something quite different than the meaning here. Rather than that awful emotion experienced when watching a scary movie, this fear is more like an awe, a recognition of God's might power... a need to serve and honor the one who created and knows and is everything. Only when we begin by understanding the beginning and the end of all things can we hope for a bit of understanding, gleamed from His wisdom.

Lord, so many times I lose sight of the fact that You are the center of it all... like last night, frustrated with my poster, I couldn't see beyond it to the things that matter more than adverbs. And yes, looking back on it now, it is absolutely ridiculous. But for you maybe it's not adverbs, maybe it's a loss from your favorite sport's team, missing a show you really like, a shirt that someone borrowed and ruined. It's so so small God, and only fearing Your power and ultimate holiness can bring us out of ourselves and into You... into a knowledge of You and a motivation to do Your will- living, loving, studying, in a way that is honoring to You.

¹⁰ " 'So do not fear, O Jacob my servant;
do not be dismayed, O Israel,'
declares the LORD.
'I will surely save you out of a distant place,
your descendants from the land of their exile.
Jacob will again have peace and security,
and no one will make him afraid. -Jeremiah 30:10

Here we have proof of the fact that there are indeed two different meanings behind the surface form of "fear." While we do need to fear the Lord, we do not need to fear in that "hide behind the covers" sort of way... or that "jump 10 feet in the air" sort of way. I remember when I was watching "The Butterfly Effect" with my friends. I jumped off the couch! They couldn't believe it, and said, "Wo! Katie, it's only 3 minutes into the movie!"

Well, I may be a scaredy Katie, but I don't have be be afraid of what the Lord will do. Last night, Kara pointed out the same thing about Romans. We often talk about our own justification as Roman's message, but everything that is mentioned is to show God's righteousness. We don't have to fear (in hiding way) our Lord, because He is righteous (with a capital R) and holy (with a capital H) and good (with a capital G). Whatever he does is for good... to ultimately be the bringer of peace and security. Lord, I pray that you would teach us to experience the peace of Your goodness... by the grace of Your power, 'fearing' and recognizing Your goodness.

⁴I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, ⁵because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. ⁶I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. ⁷Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. -Philemon 4-7

And this is an interesting little letter that I read this morning, as Paul uses all his powers of persuasion. But what I never realized before is the mention of saints. Who are these saints? Why is he praised for the love of them? How does he express this love? But, this seems to be connected to the fear of the Lord again. If fear of the Lord moves us to understanding... and sharing of faith also moves us to a full understanding of every good thing, the two (fear and sharing) must be connected. When we acknowledge God's power and authority, we tell about it. It also struck me this morning that sharing has benefits for the sharer as well... we gain understanding... and others have refreshed hearts.

Lord, help me to fear You as I go about this day... sharing Your love.

Following the Rules

We Were Spiritual Prisoners... But Now We Are Free from the Law

Is the law, therefore, opposed to the promises of God? Absolutely not! For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law. ²²But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe.

²³Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. ²⁴So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. ²⁵Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law. -Galatians 3:19-29

And We Wait Faithfully, Patiently for His Promises

⁴ This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: ⁵ "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. ⁶ Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. ⁷ Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." ⁸ Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. ⁹ They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.

¹⁰ This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."-Jeremiah 29:4-14

All the While Following the Rules of Society, Showing Humility in This.

¹Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, ²to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

³At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. ⁴But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, ⁵he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, ⁶whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. ⁸This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

⁹But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. ¹⁰Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. ¹¹You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. -Titus 3:1-11

Vessels

Hi everyone... sorry I've been leaving you hanging a bit of late. I've been switching up my devotions some mornings. Sometimes I do more prayer. Sometimes I do devotions with Brad. Sometimes I just want to do them without a computer. While I still love writing it out, I also value being with God in different ways.

He will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. —2 Timothy 2:21

I just finished reading the Timothies recently, and I loved it... as I always do. But I love this verse that was in the ODB this morning. I actually looked up the word for 'vessel' on wordreference.com, and it had as its first definition, a tool for transporting water. That was actually the definition I liked the best. The others said something about a container, but as a transportation device I love it. We are not meant as vessels just to hold God's Holy Spirit, being holy and sanctified to ourselves. We need to be prepared for every good work... useful... 'transporting' His Spirit, His love, His holiness, His goodness to everyone. Make me a vessel today, Lord.

⁶An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. ⁷Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. ⁸Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. ⁹He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. -Titus 1:6-9

This verse reminds me of how I have been so blessed to have many elders (although we tend to call them deacons... or often 'pillars of the church') who have supported and encouraged me through the years. Perhaps that's why I've always felt so connected to the COB. Even as a young girl, people would encourage me... call on me for certain things... and show me the ways that I should walk. Women who would come and make a huge dinner for our Thursday night kids program; youth who would help out with Vacation Bible School all week long; adults who would volunteer at service programs on the weekends; sunday school teachers; choir directors; nut roll volunteers; the list goes on and on and on. And whatever they did... they did it with a smile. I saw in a very real way that what these people did... they were doing it with all their heart, their soul and their strength for the Lord... with love and joy. And their encouragement is a very real reason for who I am today.

But my 'elders' influences haven't stopped. Just last night I got together with the Graduate Christian Fellowship, and I'm so thankful for the encouragement that each one of them provide to me. These are some of the most intelligent people I've ever met... and sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit in for that reason... but they're also amazingly devoted to our Lord. Despite the challenges of running in an academic circle and proclaiming Jesus as Lord and Savior, they do it. Their support meant so much to me last year... and it still does now. Lord, thank You for placing them in my life... I don't know what I would've done last year without a group like this. Help me to be an encouragement to others in the same way.

I Wanna Be Like Christ

A Disclaimer: So, I feel I should explain that I've decided to take a Sabbath break from the computer (not from my devotions... but from the computer). It's nice to have some time away from being in front of the computer all day and see the other things that need tending.

This saying was originally "I wanna be like Mike" referring to Michael Jordan, but I think Christ is much more appropriate for us.

Through the Spirit (predestined?)

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. ²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ~Romans 8:26-29

I've always loved this verse. It's a beautiful reminder that the Spirit intercedes for us (who have been called to his purpose). I know that the idea of predestination confuses a lot of people, but to me it simply recognizes God's power and omniscience. He is the beginning and the end, very literally. He can be the one who was and is and is to come. As the one who is, He is with us right now in our decisions, but the one who is to come knows what decisions we have already made (as He looks back on us through time).

Anyway, the part of this scripture I'm looking at this morning is how we are to be conformed to the likeness of His son. Lord, we do wanna be like Christ... though it's impossible... teach us to come closer and closer... just a closer walk with thee.

Through God's Work in Us (so we can't boast)

This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,

²⁴ but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD. ~Jeremiah 9:23-24

What a beautiful verse to read this morning. I love this verse that encourages me not to boast in wisdom or strength or riches but only in the Lord. The Lord has given me whatever intelligence or abilities or material goods that I might have. In His kindness and goodness, He has given me so much. I really do delight in the Lord this morning as I count my blessings: my family who is always there for me, my friends who encourage me and lift my spirits, being able to study, my love who means so much to me... so so much more.

And not just that, but this morning I love this verse, because it encourages me. I feel so weak, so small, so unworthy of a place in ministry. There are so many things that would seem to make me unfit, but I praise God for the amazing blessing that He would choose to use even me. And I thank Him for the way He promises to work through me... so that it will all be to His glory and I can boast in Him. Change me Lord, work in me... I praise You for all that You do... that You may be seen in my life.

Through Choices (fighting the good fight)

But godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. ⁸But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. ⁹People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. ¹⁰For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. ¹¹But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. ¹²Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. ~1 Timothy 6:6-12

Not just our prayers and our characters, but our life choices should also reflect our Lord, Father of all. Right now I am praying so much that God would take me and lead me. But even in my prayers, I have faith that at some point, God will use me in ministry. And all of our choices, not just the larger ones should reflect God. So many people fight about money... I think that's why Jesus talked about it so much in His time here. Instead, we are told to 'fight the good fight.' In other words, stop fighting about trivial things and fight the fight of faith! Look at what is important, don't wander from faith.

Sometimes I worry that pursuing a PhD might be selfish, because it's another 3 years with little income... and afterwards I'll still have my debt from college... but looking back on my life I know that I have been so happy and been so close to God at the times when I have had the least. I trust that He will help me to provide for a family when that time comes, that He will be in my heart, and that is the most important thing.

Advice from 1 Timothy 4: All Good Things, Youth, the Gift

³They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. ⁴For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, ⁵because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. ⁶If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed.

This morning I'm especially thinking of this verse, because I feel like sometimes I personally as well as we as a society run to rules in order to make us feel safe. If we only do this, it will work. We do need to follow principles and guidelines, but thinking of something that is forbidden forgets the importance and centrality of the issue. For instance, if you are forbidden to drink... that's it. But if you choose not to drink, you can explain... it's because you think of families and situations where alcohol is a problem and think of it as a non-necessity, money which could be better spent for those who have no food... but explain that all things are good and not to be rejected. This verse, in fact, is a part of the reason that I'm not a strict vegetarian. If someone offers me something, I do receive it in thanksgiving, recognizing that they have given it as a blessing to me and to their own household... because the giver is blessed, as I am blessed for the gift.

¹¹Command and teach these things. ¹²Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

<sup>I'm so thankful this morning for my dad... who just celebrated some odd number of years, which I'll call 50, because I honestly don't remember. Maybe it's 64? Well, 50 is a nice number. He'd always take the time to answer the questions I had as a child. Doing my devotions and journaling in middle school, Dad would come in to wish me good night or sing me a goodnight song... a time that was more challenging than for many dads I'm sure. I'd ask him questions about Paul's ideas on slaves and women... on the rules of the old testament and all the wars... on why Cain's offering wasn't accepted if he was in charge of fields, not livestock. But he encouraged me and didn't look down on me in my youth. I hope to start a 'quiet time' or devotional practice with my own kids (if I have them someday)... from a very early age and to always show them... as my father does, that we need to make time every day for the Lord.

13</sup>Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. ¹⁴Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

Sometimes I wonder so much about this verse. I'm praying to You, Lord, for guidance. Show me where You would have me go. I want to use my gifts to Your glory... and knowing that my church has called out gifts of ministry in me is something serious to consider. Speak to me, Jesus, and help me to devote myself to You and discern Your will for my life... because that is what I desire.

I Will Make You...

Fishers of Men...

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ¹⁹"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." ²⁰At once they left their nets and followed him.

²¹Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, ²²and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. -Matthew 4:18-22

We are all called to follow him, but if we really think about what that means... it's scary. We are called to action... immediate action. Sometimes I'm saddened by the fact that we Christians are "tomorrow" Christians. After this, or after that, I'll do this. When the truth is that for our own sake and the sake of others, the time is now. But I think some of our fear has to do with the fact that we forget Christ's promise, "I will make you fishers of men." It's not the fishers of men part that we forget, but the "I will make you" part. Most of our objections are: I don't think I can, I don't know how, how will I be good enough, what should I do.... but it's not about us, rather God working through us... making us what he needs us to be, if only we let him, if only we follow.

Able to Speak...

"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

⁷ But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

⁹ Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth."-Jeremiah 1:6-9

This passage from Jeremiah has always been a favorite of mine since I was very young, because I've been called upon to speak by my church quite frequently: during worship service, during Sunday School, at Christmas Eve service, at various conferences. I'm always amazed and appreciative of my church that gave me opportunities to speak as such a young child... probably around 15 the first time. But it wasn't always easy to do... especially presenting at a conference in the DR at age 21, I felt like I was only a child... how could I do this? But God puts the words in our mouths.

Lord, I thank You for using me... what a beautiful blessing. And I ask that You continue to work through me... a shy quiet girl, nothing special about me- it's easy to see Your work in my life, because it could not be me... but You who makes me Yours.

If You Look for the Good...

You Will Surely Find it.

In God's Way
Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way. —Psalm 119:37

When people tell me they have no time to pray or to read the Bible each day, I'm tempted to ask them how much time they spend doing other things: running, watching tv, talking with people, surfing the internet, writing emails, etc. All these things that we chase after (and yes, I am very guilty of this) are worthless. Like the old hymn, I pray to "fix my eyes upon Jesus" so that "the things of earth may grow strangely dim."

In God's Works
¹² For this is what the LORD says:

"I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.

¹³ As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem."

¹⁴ When you see this, your heart will rejoice
and you will flourish like grass;
the hand of the LORD will be made known to his servants,
but his fury will be shown to his foes. -Isaiah 66:12-14

We have seen the beauty of what the Lord has done for us. I have seen Him come to comfort me and teach me. I love the image of a mother comforting her child. This is one of the few texts which likens our God to a mother. Usually talked about "our Father who art in heaven," I admit I wonder how much that might be derived from a language miscommunication. Many languages have the single neutral form parents as going to the word 'padre'... which means both Father and Mother. For me, thinking of God as both Father and Mother of all creation reminds me of His majesty... reminding me that God isn't simply a human form but so much more... so much greater than I could imagine.

In God's Word
¹I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— ²for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. ³This is good, and pleases God our Savior, ⁴who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

⁸I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

⁹I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, ¹⁰but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

¹¹A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹²I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. ¹³For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. ¹⁵But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. -1 Timothy 2:1-3, 8-15

While I usually gloss over this difficult parts of scripture, I was struck by this Word this morning... remembering the context it comes from. I don't think we can read this letter without recognizing that it is a letter. A letter is addressed to someone for a specific reason. And here, verses 1-3 state the reason as being to solve a problem and restore peace to the area. The recommendations following it then are simple instructions meant regarding that certain area.

About the dress code, I remember how things were in the DR this summer. People there would see a girl in modest not tight jeans/pants and think it made them extremely attractive... which a Dominican woman in a tight short skirt did not attract any attention at all. It's all based on the society and what has been deemed attractive or appropriate. While here in the states, it might be exactly the opposite. That further suggests to me that Paul is talking to specific things that are happening in this circumstance.

About the submission, it's toomuch to go into here. Read "I Suffer Not a Woman" if you're interested in alternative readings to this passage.