Love as the Alternative to Arrogance

Yesterday, I read 1 Corinthians 8, Paul's response to the question of whether Christians were allowed to eat the food which had been sacrificed to idols.  His answer (familiar to many) is that there is no logical reason why you can't eat that food (knowing that there is one true God), but that we need to be sensitive in what we do so that our actions are not a "stumbling block" for others.  The context is so far away, the situation so foreign to us.  But the wisdom in the first verses of this chapter is so important to our lives; it is this wisdom that makes the scriptures holy and important to us today.  "Your word, Lord, is eternal" (Psalm 119:89).  

These wise words are as follows:

"We know that 'We all possess knowledge.'  But knowledge puffs up while love builds up.  Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know.  But whoever loves God is known by God." (1 Corinthians 8:1-3).

At first as I read this chapter, it did feel very distant from me.  But as I read through a second time and sat with the scriptures, the wisdom started to sink in.  In fact, the other day I was reading about the art of felting.  The book warned tight knitters that in order to felt, you must leave space between your stitches.  I believe the same is true for devotions, both scripture reading and prayer.  If we rush through our readings or prayers, we don't open ourselves up to the power of the Spirit to enter in.  Leaving space (mental, emotional, time) allows the Spirit to 'felt' the scriptures and prayers, working in and through that space to make something beautiful and meaningful and to create that change we want to see in our lives.  I know it's difficult.  But I've found that when it's especially difficult for me to find the time is the time I need it most.  And do know that God will be faithful, if you only ask.  He can work wonders with just a little space and just a little time... as long as you are giving that over fully to the Lord.

Well, in the small space I managed to squeeze out yesterday, those first 3 verses really started to jump out at me.  "That's it!" I thought.  "That's the key!"  Paul had it so right.  The context and specific question are really quite obscure, but that wisdom is wisdom to last through all generations.  "Knowledge puffs up" speaks about 'arrogance' but love "builds up" speaks to the encouragement of a loving response.  Hmmm... that's something we can all relate to in so many contexts and in so many ways.  I'm sure we've all been on both sides of that age-old story many times.

For instance, just yesterday as I was riding my bike to campus in the blazing hot afternoon sun, I saw a young college student bike right past me.  This kid without his shirt on, sidling past with his bike and his too-cool-for-school look.  I right away had my own assumptions of who this kid was, and who he thought I was... "What is this old lady doing, biking at a snail's pace?  She'd make it to campus faster on a turtle!"  When we pulled up to the red light at Grant, I was surprised.  The kid turned to me, water bottle in hand and asked, "Do you want some water?"  Wow!  There it was!  No judgment, no knowledge, no advice.  Just love.  I politely declined as I had some in my bag and was a little nervous about getting a side stitch if I chugged some water in my present half-dead, thankful-for-the-red-light-break state.  But I was also thankful to God for this amazing gift, an opportunity to really see what Paul meant in this scripture.  

I doubt I'll run into this kid again.  And if I do, I doubt I'll recognize him.  (Yes, I was that exhausted!)  But, I will continue to think about the gift that this encounter offered me... an opportunity to see Paul's wisdom in action.  In ever small, short interaction every day, we have two options.  We can offer arrogance or love.  An arrogance response is one where we know all the answer, even though Paul clues us in to the fact that we do not know as we ought (2).  Do any of these sound familiar?- (Why don't you____?  You can't do that!   I thought she ______!  Why didn't he ______?)  A loving response is an understanding response- as Paul goes on to describe, this response is sensitive to where people are, and respects their own stories.  

I feel that we encounter this all over in today's society.  The example that comes to mind, unsurprisingly, is motherhood.  Knowledge about how to put a baby to bed, how to feed a baby, how to discipline kids, how to get them to sit still or be calm... it's all well and good, but it can easily be 'arrogance' which 'puffs up'.  Instead, we should each recognize that there are so many complex layers of information and individual stories beneath each one of people's choices... we must remember that we do not "know" (2).  For instance, a mom who gives her kid tons of sugar might be responding to a childhood without any sweets.  A mother who gives her child no sugar might be hoping to avail her child of some food related issues she suffered.  In a similar way, I saw the too-cool-for-school kid yesterday and wondered why he was biking in the middle of the day.  We might assume he made it a late night the previous night partying, but he might've been working a morning shift to get through college.  

There are so many stories that we cannot possibly know... and that we will never know if we answer with a "puffed up" and arrogant response.  Instead, every day in every moment, we have the option to choose the second - to respond in love, with a sip of cool water and understanding.

What's your story?

Upon encountering someone new, we often ask in one way or another, "What's your story?"  But I believe that even familiar people are always telling us their story.  We are too, in one way or another.  

And reading Psalm 107-108 today reminded me that I far too seldom tell the stories (even the little everyday ones) which speak of God's goodness.  Psalm 107 goes through a series of telling stories of God rescuing His people, starting out with "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever" (1).  Here is an excerpt as an example, where God provided food for his people wandering in the desert:

Some wandered in desert wastelands,
    finding no way to a city where they could settle.
5 They were hungry and thirsty,
    and their lives ebbed away.
6 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
7 He led them by a straight way
    to a city where they could settle.
8 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
9 for he satisfies the thirsty
    and fills the hungry with good things. (4-6)

Today I was prompted to write my own Psalm 107.  There are so many good things for which to praise God in this week alone, and the psalmist does say "Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story" (2).  So I will tell a few of the stories of God's goodness to my family.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;

His love endures forever.

When a baby was about to be born, 

we were worried about how to care for the baby,

without family nearby to help.

We prayed to God for guidance and help,

and God provided for us, 

through the generosity of friends and neighbors,

through delicious meals brought to us,

through healthcare,

through encouragement from many,

and visits from grandparents.

When Brad's studies were finished, 

we were unsure of the path ahead.

We lifted our prayers to the Lord,

and He provided a job,

provision for our family,

and a fellowship to cover costs,

before the visa allowed Brad to work.

But God's goodness is expressed,

not just in the grand stories but in little everyday moments.

I can see God's goodness in the amazing, tiny ants,

that my one-year-old points out to me.

I can feel God's goodness in the rain,

when it quenches our thirst in the desert.

I can taste God's goodness in a bowl of yogurt,

providing energy and fuel.

"Let the one who is wise heed these things

and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord" (43)