With a Capital T

Trouble
Ezekiel 31:1-32:32

"It was in the twelfth year of our captivity, in the twelfth month, on the first day of the month." (Ezekiel 32:1)

Yes, trouble... with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for captivity. Ok, so it's not quite the version from "The Music Man." Every section here at the end of Ezekiel begins this way... documenting the year, month and day of captivity. Of course, if you were a slave, wouldn't you?

It reminds me of my own most recent serious tragedy in my life. It's hard to explain how much you love an admire a cousin, only months older than yourself who grows up down the street. I saw Amanda almost every day of my young life- walking to school, at school, at church programs, choir, at Sunday School, going down to their house to play. Being the oldest in my own nuclear family, I found in Amanda my "older sister role model," perhaps most evident in the activities in which I involved myself. Cultural awareness club, choir, theatre, as well as social justice programs, activities and service. Most recently, we ended up living sort of parallel existences- she teaching English in Greece while I taught in Brazil.

I was so excited to reunite and share our stories once again when disaster struck. I could hardly believe it. My uncle called and said that he had received bad news from Greece. I thought Amanda was sick or hurt or maybe in the hospital. I don't even remember the words my uncle said to get the message to me that my cousin who I love so much had died in an accident while riding a bike to an English lesson. I couldn't even respond. I hung up the phone, and I was in a complete state of shock. Unable to cry, my heart and mind flooded with memories of Amanda: sledding down Blanche's Hill, camping out at the Music, Art and Drama Camp, singing Amanda-cized versions of "Grease 2" songs, watching "Pride and Prejudice," and so many many more. My family drove from NJ to Royersford, and sitting there with my cousins, aunt and uncle, Uncle Rod asked me, "How are you, Katie? Are you ok?" Only then I started crying... at home with family who all felt the same pain and greif and sadness.

Although all of this happened in July 2007, it still feels so fresh sometimes. This year, the day after my birthday, I was sitting in my Linguistics class and all of a sudden it hit me. I had turned a year older- I was 26. I had outlived Amanda, and there was no way to bring her back to live this year, this moment with her. I started weeping right there in class (and I was so greatful that I was in back hidden from the view of so many). One year and three months later, and my own birthday brought back those same emotions of pain and greif and sadness. Like the Egyptians, people who experience loss or some great trouble of their own often mark their days by years, days, months since this trouble occured that has marked their life... it will never be the same.

Help
Psalm 130:1-4

"Lord, I am in great trouble, so I call out to you. Lord, hear my voice; listen to my prayer for help." (Psalm 130:1-2)

In any type of trouble, great or small... we can call out to the Lord, and God listens. Our mere call for help is an expression of faith in God's ability to help as well as God's existence. Sometimes it's easier to remember to call out to God in the really tough times: a shocking death such as Amanda's made me pray all day long for family and friends (something I continue to do). While we absolutely need God's help in these times of great struggle, we need to also lift up the small troubles to God.

Right now it seems like everyone has "hit the wall" in their semesters (to use a running term). They've been working hard, and now they can almost smell the turkey or taste the homemade gingerbread cookies. They're ready for the race to be over. Lord, I pray that you give us all the encouragement and energy needed to "push through the last leg of the race" and "sprint to the finish."

Blessings
James 1:1-27

"My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience." (James 2-3)

Now this kind of advice would seem to be be a little harsh for someone in the midst of an extremely difficult tragedy, and I would never recommend walking up to someone in such a situation to say, "Hey, it's ok... you should be joyful. You'll be more patient after this." Perhaps best reflected upon before or after a time of trouble, the message is very true.

It reminds me of a quote by Plato: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Each person on the bus, student in my class, professor or grad student has their own struggle that they are going through at this minute. I need only to think about difficult situations in my life to have a little more patience in dealing with everyone kindly as they fight their hard battles.