I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me. —2 Samuel 1:26

David's heartfelt lament reminds me of my own sadness upon Amanda's death. And even though time has past, the wounds still feel so fresh, the pain still so real when I think about it. As a friend last night recounted his own experience of the death of a dear close cousin, I couldn't help but think of my cousin Amanda. Just like David, I spent days, weeks, several months writing and writing and writing poems and stories and lists of memories of times spent together or things she would say. And somehow it is still comforting to go back and read those again. Even this morning, I remembered how we would always smile and say, "O'Donnells don't bet" or how she'd make up songs about the Flyers ("Home on Home Ice" instead of "Home on the Range").

But more than anything, at a very young age, Amanda was completely herself. She didn't let the popular crowd or anything society said tell her what to do. And she taught me to stand up for what I believe in... she helped me to be strong in being who I was, to always be true to myself and my beliefs, no matter what others might say. And I thank God for the silly memories, the fun memories and for my amazing cousin who really helped me to make it through high school by not caring what others think. A radical, a rebel- she made Jesus proud, I'm sure of it.

In My Heart

How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.
With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word. - Psalm 119:9-16

This beautiful Psalm sums up exactly why I read and study the Bible every morning. In this world, it is so hard to keep your way pure. We are tempted by fame, vanity, wealth, popularity, ambition, and many many other things. The noise of the world yells so loudly- from billboards to radio to tv commercials to magazine ads. It is so loud that we need something to drown out 'the patterns of this world,' as our friend Paul would call them.

If I continue giving at least one or two hours of my day (when really all my day belongs to Him), He is faithful in helping me to complete everything... and I am 10 times more effective. I don't understand how it works... if there's some time continuum that breaks down while I am studying the word or praying, but I know that studying God's word is never wasted. And I hope to study it more and more... to know Your ways more and more, Lord.

Liberation Theology

What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; ³⁰those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; ³¹those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. - 1 Corinthians 7:20-40

The entirety of the text I read this morning is quite difficult for me... where Paul is advising people not to marry. However, he is very careful with his words, stating over and over again that either way... if you marry or don't... you are not sinning. His reasoning for singleness is that you would be able to be more wholely devoted to the Lord and your interests wouldn't be divided.

But, in today's society I think it is not only spousal relationships that divide our interests (perhaps a partial reason for the high rate of divorce). Money, work, entertainment, etc. So many things compete for our attention... that it is good for us to recognize that God should always come first. Why?

Well, simple... this is not the end of the story. This is only a preview of the life that is left to come. And I'm reminded of what Brad always says, that if this world is so beautiful with the variety of plants and trees and animals, then God must have something incredibly gorgeous for us in heaven. Can you imagine something more beautiful than Niagra Falls? More breathtaking than the Sequoias? More calming than the cool sea lapping against the red cliffs of Prince Edward Island?

In the DR, our brothers and sisters are experts at this... called "Liberation Theology." It doesn't matter how bad this life is, because they know that this world and all its troubles will pass away. And trust me... they know about troubles- lack of rights to education, discrimination, limited income, low security, living on faith instead of funds... but they are so rich in the strength of their faith. And I am also absolutely certain that God has a 5 star room set apart for them in our Father's house of many rooms.