Peace... or... Sacrifice?

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:7

I think I regretted to mention in my account of Saturday. During my emotional breakdown of hours of crying on Saturday, I cried the hardest when I imagined not going going into ministry. That was when I felt inconsolable, especially after hearing my cousin Jonathan echo my own sentiments, encouraging me to follow the passion have for ministry.

After kneeling and praying and remembering the God that called Jeremiah and so many others, I again felt that He could do great things through me if He wills it. Suddenly, all the possibilities that seemed unimaginable rushed back: a ministry in another country, working with the church right here in Tucson, pastoral ministry, some other new kind of ministry with international or college students. And that peace is refreshing to my soul. Little by little, what brings me peace is the assurance that God will use me, that I can allow Him to use me. That is what brings me peace... and great joy. Like I said in one of my first bible studies I attended last year, my greatest dream is to serve others in some way. (I wish you had been there to see the crazy look these grad students gave me, as if I'd come from another planet!)


Peace or Sacrifice

17As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
18"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'[d]"

20"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy."

21Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

22At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!"

24The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is[e] to enter the kingdom of God! 25It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

26The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?"

27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

28Peter said to him, "We have left everything to follow you!"

29"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. 31But many who are first will be last, and the last first." -Mark 10:17-31

We talked about a similar theme last night as we discussed call and vocation during GCF. Is it a joy? Is it a sacrifice? Do you have to feel selfish to continue what you're doing?

Noticeably, this could be looked at as a different type of calling... to follow him, although I think we need to realize that the disciples physically followed- something that requires more than the church members today.

But my "problem" (if it is a problem?) is that I don't seem to sense sacrifice in serving God. It is such a great joy... it is the ultimate goal. I remember the first time Brad asked me in a straight-forward way, "Katie, what if I feel called to pastoral ministry? Would you stop what you were doing?" And without hesitation, I said, "Yes. I'd love to do that." And it's true. I just don't feel like I'm giving up something or doing something I don't want to do.

Brad says that it is sacrifice, but I don't sense the sacrifice. Then I ask, "Is it sacrifice if I don't feel like I'm giving something else?" To which he responded, "It's sacrifice because it would be to someone else." Just like with BVS. Perhaps some people look at leaving jobs or family or friends or careers. But none of that's important. None of that is the goal. The whole purpose is Jesus, and serving Him is what I love more than anything. That is what brings me peace.

Sacrifice or not, the thing that brings me the deepest peace and joy is knowing that God will use me, being able to serve Him in so many ways.