It is a beautiful way of reading the scriptures, and I felt moved to read the scripture in this way this morning after reading a reflection by Macrina Wiederkehr out of "A Tree Full of Angels." Lectio is the practice of mindfully meditating on, not just reading, the word of God. Though the practice varies, oftentimes people will read one passage 3 times over allowing God's word to fully speak to us. Widerkehr invites us to enjoy the power of God's word, to be reverent before the scriptures, to be un-hurried:
"We do not always realize what a radical suggestion it is for us to read to be transformed rather than to gather information. We are information seekers. We love to cover territory. It is not easy for us to stop reading when the heart is touched; we are a people who like to get finished. Lectio offers us a new way to read. Read with a vulnerable heart. Expect to be blessed in the reading. Read as one awake, one waiting for the beloved. Read with reverence.
We are naturally reverent beings, but much of our natural reverence has been torn away from us because we have been born into a world that hurries. There is no time to be reverent with the earth or with each other. We are all hurrying into progress. And for all our hurrying we lose sight of our true nature a little more each day. This is precisely why we need to believe in the eye of God hovering over us. We are not alone. There is One with us who wants to give back our reverence. There is One with us who wants to give us back the gift of time.
Read the Scriptures, then, with reverence, giving up the lie that you don't have time. Read under the eye of God. Read as one who has nothing but time.
Before you read, you may wish to pray:
All-Seeing One,
above me, around me, within me.
Be my seeing as I read these sacred words.
Look down upon me
Look out from within me
Look all around me
See through my eyes
Hear through my ears
Feel through my heart
Touch me where I need to be touched;
and when my heart is touched,
give me the grace to lay down this Holy Book
and ask significant questions:
Why has my heart been touched?
How am I to be changed through this touch?
All-Seeing one,
I need to change
I need to look a little more like You
May these sacred words change and transform me.
Then I can meet You face to face
without dying
because I've finally died enough
To die is to be healed a little more each death,
until the final death
when I'll be healed forever.
It will be a healing that will last.
Your Words are healing
although they bring about my death."
My Lectio Divino
This is the passage that I read this morning, and bolded are the words and phrases that spoke to me and touched my heart this morning.
1 I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~2 Corinthians 12:1-10
Paul is such a prolific character, so important to the church in so many ways, that it's often easy for me to forget that he was like the rest of us in some respects. He pleaded for the Lord, "take it away from me." When I read this over carefully this morning, I thought... oh... I say that all the time. Difficulties with relationships, problems getting GRE scores, stomach issues, I say, "Lord take it away from me."
But I seldom hear, or perhaps seldom listen to, the response from God which says, "My grace is sufficient for you." While I don't believe this passage is telling us not to pray for healing or help, I do believe that we are reminded in our prayers to keep in mind the firm understanding that God's grace is enough. I have really wanted to go to the Haiti Disaster Ministry's trip recently, but it doesn't seem that it's possible... especially without any income during the summer. And while I pray for a summer job and the opportunity to go, I remember that God is powerful enough to work in the most difficult circumstances.
If it is His will, I will go without a job. If it is His will, I will work. If it is His will, I will go to Haiti. If it is His will, I won't. If it is His will.... I pray knowing that God is powerful enough to do all that I ask, but also understanding that He knows more than I could ever comprehend. And if this summer is difficult with a little more penny-pinching, I know it will be ok. In fact, I know that God's power is with me, resting on me, over and around me when I am weak, when things are difficult.
This summer things were more than a little difficult between my in-laws, my new husband and myself. There were honestly points where I wished that I weren't married, that I were just on my own. I felt hurt, I felt sad, I felt alone, I felt weak. But now I can see that God's power was resting on me. Though it was hard, I never once considered breaking it off. I knew that I would stay with Brad. For better or for worse means that "worse" will undoubtedly come sooner or later. And I felt God's power through my constant understanding that I pledged my love to Brad before God. So even though I was weak, God's power was strong in me... urging me to stay true to the commitment I had made to my Lord and my love.
On Tuesday at Bible Study, Carrie and Josh announced their engagement. We are so happy for both of them. Carrie asked me about my relationship with my in-laws. I told her about this summer, about the problem with the name, about the hurt. But I also told her that I'm glad it happened. I said, "You know, many people probably don't confront something so difficult in their second week of marriage, but they all do eventually. The most important thing is that you make that commitment to each other for life." And I know that God's power was in the healing process with my in-laws which I am so thankful for. And dealing with such a difficult time this summer has given me even more faith in this marriage... we have been through difficulties, but God's power has been with us through all of it!
Lord, I boast in my weakness, because You are strong... to care for a weak marriage, to care for sickness, to take care of jobs, to take care of all! I pray this morning that I always remember the moments that I have seen God's power in my weakness... and that I have faith that "God's grace is sufficient" whenever I pray for Him to "take it away from me."
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