It's Alright to Be Human

"It's alright to be human." So begins the devotional for this morning, and I can't help but believe that God is once again speaking to me exactly where I am.

This past weekend Brad and I babysat on Saturday night for our neighbor's two kids- a 2.5 year old and a 4.5 month old. Everything was going so smoothly - both kids were asleep at 9pm- that we even gave each other a high five! But then, a little over an hour later- at 10pm, the toddler woke up crying and upset. When Brad went with him to get some water, he threw up in the hall. He actually calmed him back to sleep and cleaned up after him, but then a while later he woke up again crying and went into his parents' room to look for them. (Unbeknownst to us, he also threw up while he was in there!) The poor thing! We couldn't help but feel bad for the poor little guy. Unfortunately, he started crying every time Brad went to text his parents and let them know... so they actually came home before we even had time to let them know.

Well, the most important thing is that he is fine now. After he got it all out of his system, he was running around and playing the next morning. But, we still both felt bad about a series of mistakes- not calling his parents right away, possibly letting him get his hands on a bad strawberry (maybe that's what caused it), not knowing he slept with a nightlight. I cried that night and prayed so much for the little boy. And then the next day, even after knowing he was doing fine, I sobbed again... my sorries didn't seem to make up for all the things that had gone wrong, and I wondered if I'll ever be able to be an okay mother. But, maybe it's God's way of preparing us in some way... there will probably be times when we don't know what to do as parents, especially when a child is sick and you feel sad and upset and unsure of what to do.

But none of us are prepared to be perfect parents, I suppose. And that's why we need God. We can't do this huge task on our own. I'm sure we'll make many mistakes, in our own lives and as parents... but we can take heart knowing what God promises us:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

It's okay to be human as long as God is God in our lives, showing His power in our imperfection and guiding us when we feel lost and incapable.

I am leading you...

This morning as I read my devotional I was reminded how it is often easy to forget that God is leading us, especially at those moments when it's tough or difficult or stressful or overwhelming. We think- God would only lead me on an easy, beautiful path, wouldn't He? This must not be Him.

Well, that's not what the Bible says, in fact. The Bible is full of encouragement 'to persevere', not to 'give up', to 'stand up for what you believe in'. If our God-directed paths were meant to be easy as pie, we wouldn't need such encouragement. Instead, we hear:

¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:17)

After all, Moses and the Israelite people must've wondered at the time what was going on. Plague after plague and the result was...

²⁷ But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he was not willing to let them go. (Exodus 10:27)

At the moment, it may be quite difficult to figure out the why and the what of the descents and ascents on the path where God is leading us. But we can be assured that if we continue to trust and follow Him, all things will work together for His glory and for the good.

Rest in God's Peace

Last night as I read some of the childbirth book from the class we're attending, I couldn't help but begin to get nervous about labor. The pain, the ripping, the tearing... can I really do this? I'm interested in a natural childbirth, but reading and thinking about it sometimes makes me quite nervous about the whole experience. Is it futile even trying? Should I give up right now?

Sarah Young's reflection for today reads "Rehearsing your troubles results in you experiencing them many times where as you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur... Instead, come to me and relax in my peace. I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust."

The books I have been reading echo similar sentiments about childbirth, that the body when relaxed naturally produces endorphins and oxytocin, positive hormones that relax the body... allowing it to work as intended. Anxiety and fear lead to pain which lead to more anxiety and fear which lead to more pain, etc. So, it seems that finding rest, relaxation, finding God and feeling His presence in childbirth is key... although I can only imagine how challenging it could be.

But, this isn't true only of the childbirth process. In our lives, when we are anxious about a certain assignment/job/task, we become fearful, and then it can create 'pain' or 'stress' in our lives. We are focused so on that difficulty that we distance ourselves from God, forgetting His omnipresence in our lives, forgetting about the peace, assurance, rest and relaxation that He longs to bring to us.

It seems that even Joshua faced anxiety about the task that God had placed before him- leading the Israelites, who tended to grumble a lot. He knew this wouldn't be easy. He wondered if He could, and God encouraged him:

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:5,9)

And God was faithful to Joshua, just as He is to all of us. The one who is always with us calls each of us:

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Let me prepare you...

I'm a planner. I admit it. I think one of the things that surprised Brad the most was how I could be thinking 3 years down the road when he has trouble thinking 3 hours ahead.

But I'd even venture to guess that I'm not the only one. Many of us are forced into planning in some way or another, by our society, by our jobs, by our circumstances. For instance, right now Brad and I are planning for our baby to come this June. Brad made a budget to take us through June in case he doesn't get funding this summer. We've signed up for various childbirth classes, and we're investigating various 'methods' to use in order to plan the birth that's right for us.

But planning isn't only something for momentous occasions. In our jobs, we often need a 'planner' of some kind, where we keep track of meetings, schedule deadlines, etc. The first thing handed out at the beginning of the semester is a plan of studies - a syllabus. In fact, we get so accustomed to planning, that we forget that God doesn't work that way.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

We often forget that although God knows His plans for our lives, we aren't 'in' on those plans. It's in vain that we go about planning our existence, because God will equip up for the journey and whatever lies ahead.

Take Joseph, for example. I can hardly believe that after being thrown in a pit and thrown into the dungeon he'd expect this change of luck:

³⁹ Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. ⁴⁰ You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.” (Genesis 41:39-40)

But God calls us to His side, to spend time with Him. Then, we will know that wherever God's path leads us, God will prepare us for the journey. And then we can rest in Him.

¹⁴ The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14)

Trust Fund

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it's so hard to trust in the Lord, because we don't see Him. Yet, there are many things in this life that we don't see and even things which aren't a physical reality, which we choose to trust.

For example, many people when they get to the stage of their life of 'financial planning' invest in stocks and bonds and other various forms of collecting interest. They choose to believe that they have their money in these places, that this money exists. But in reality, that money may be used up by one purchase or another from the company that will eventually pay them interest.

Banks work a similar way. We believe that all of our money is in a certain place, in a bank account. Yet, as we saw in the stock market crash before the Great Depression, if we suddenly lose our faith, or our trust, in these banks... there is not enough there for everyone to retrieve their money, causing a crisis.

These are just a few financial examples, but thinking about your life, you may realize there are many more social constructs that we choose to believe, to trust, to build our lives based on those agreed upon structures. Yet, ironically, we find is so hard to fully trust in the Lord... to build the Lord into our lives as a given trusted part of the equation.

As Brad & I plan for the baby, it is hard not to feel stressed, nervous, worried at times about finances. Neither of us currently have any funding for the summer, so we're trying to plan a budget that will take us through August- not an easy thing to do on our salaries. And I can't help but think about the families that are in tougher situations than we are.

But, Brad encourages me to remember how God has taken care of us so far... to pray, whenever I feel nervous or worried or afraid... to put my trust in the ultimate trust fund. Though it may not pay off in worldly possessions and bank statements, His is the treasure that "neither moth nor rust destroy and thieves cannot break in to steal" (Matthew 6:20).

³ When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
⁴ In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4)

I Inhabit the Praises of my People

³But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. (Psalm 22:3)

What a beautiful reminder this morning - God not only delights in our praise, but God is present in our praise. Calling out in prayer in a way invites God and invokes His very presence. If we feel lonely, if we feel lost, upset, tired, wanting, the secret is to praise... to feel God's presence.

A similar reminder is presented in Philippians. Even when we are presenting petitions (or prayer requests) to God, it is advised that we do so "with thanksgiving"... in order to avoid "being anxious" about these situations:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)

I have recently started reading books on childbirth that present various techniques for calming, relaxation and coping with the pain of the experience. These include visualization, meditation, art, breathing, etc. And one technique presented is 'gratefulness meditation'. The book reviews the power of gratefulness or "thanksgiving". It refocuses our energy, and presents us with a new perspective and frame of reference.

There is so much to be thankful for, and we cannot thank God too much for all that He has given us.

Praise God ...

for health,

for time with family,

for the coming of a child,

for options and choices,

for holiday celebrations,

for a beautiful, warm, sunny day,

for a loving spouse who shows their affection,

for a nutritious meal on the table when you are hungry,

and for so much more!

Praise God...

the One who inhabits our Praise!

He's Able

As a young girl in Sunday School, I remember singing:

"He's able, He's able,
I know He's able.
I know the Lord is able
to carry me through."

The interesting thing about that Sunday School singing time was that most times Jane Frain was playing the piano for our songs. Only years later did I learn that she didn't read music. She had carefully learned each song so that we could enjoy singing together to the Lord. And in my mind, the sound of those voices and that piano are so beautiful. Yes, the Lord is able to carry us through... and to use us when we allow Him to.

This morning's devotional reads, "I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine" based on Ephesians 3:20-21. Do we truly recognize this in our daily comings and goings... the power that God has to do not only what we hope or dream... but beyond what we imagine. It was certainly difficult for Sarai & Abram to grasp this. And I'd venture that it's a bit difficult for us as well.

¹⁵ God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. ¹⁶ I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.”

¹⁷ Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” ¹⁸ And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” (Genesis 17:15-18)

¹⁰ Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. ¹¹ Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. ¹² So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

¹³ Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ ¹⁴ Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

¹⁵ Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”

But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.” (Genesis 18:10-15)

Both Abram and Sarai - God-fearing people - laughed when they heard what God would do in their lives. They were surprised. They found it hard to believe, hard to imagine. But like the visitor reminded them, nothing is too difficult for the Lord. He can do all things.

What promise of good news would make you laugh? A job provided at the right time? A healthy child? An invitation to be a deacon?

I recently was asked to be on the ballot as a deacon at Shalom Mennonite Fellowship, where Brad and I have been attending for a year now and have become associate members. I was at first surprised by this invitation. I feel quite young and new to the congregation, but then I remembered - I pray every day for Shalom, that God would use that church and use me as a part of that church. As I prayed about this decision, I couldn't help but feel that perhaps this was God's answer to my prayer, even though it was an answer that might prompt a metaphorical "laugh" like that of Sarah & Abraham. Although I questioned, "But I am too young and new. Could I really do something like this?", I choose to trust that if the congregation votes me into this position, God "is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine according to His power at work in us" (Ephesians 3:20).

So That You May Have Peace in Me

Seek Peace

"Refresh yourself in the peace of my presence. In Me, you may have confident peace." (Young)

Yesterday, the devotional reminded us to 'seek God'. Today, it reminds us that when we seek, we 'seek peace'. When we truly seek and find God, we will find a peace that fills us despite whatever we may be going through at the time. This is what He promises:

³³ “I have told you these things [about what would happen to Him], so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

In a way, seeking God and seeking peace is one and the same. So the scripture "Seek peace and pursue it" (Psalm 34:14) might as well read "Seek God and pursue Him."

A Covenant

When you think about it, an agreement or a covenant is often the basis for peace. When countries are in agreement, it is very hard to have a war. When couples are in agreement, it is hard to have marital disputes. It is when there is disagreement that problems arise and upset the peace. I'm reminded of a few Sundays back when someone in church noted that "the way to marital harmony is to always agree with your spouse as quick as you can."

Today's Bible-in-a-Year reading reminded me of a very special covenant that God made with Noah, establishing a peaceful agreement. Although God certainly showed that He could destroy the whole earth, God chose not to do so in that way, to that measure ever again.

In the covenant covenant of marriage, we promise to remain together despite hardship, despite the ability abandon one another. And we present each other with a sign, a ring. Similarly, God's sign to His people was the rainbow.

However, notable in this covenant is that this is a covenant that is lasting... for all generations to come.

¹² And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: ¹³ I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. ¹⁴ Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, ¹⁵ I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. ¹⁶ Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

¹⁷ So God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth.” (Genesis 9:12-17)

God chose to present an agreement, a covenant. God chose a peaceful existence with the earth, the people on the earth and all living creatures.

And God calls us to seek Him and seek the peace that His presence promises to bring to every day. He calls us... so that we may have peace.

Only One Thing is Needed

As Brad's parents gave me the devotional "Jesus Calling" for Christmas, I thought it was time to start this journey through the new year. It's sure to be a whirlwind of adventures, trials and joys as we expect our first child in June. Now almost half way through, we wait with excitement and a bit of apprehension. But we know that we cannot do this without God, and today's devotional reminded me of this.

Sarah Young writes, "As you spend time with me, your thoughts tend to jump ahead to today's plans and problems. Bring your thoughts back to me.... Don't skimp on our time together."

This reminder is something that we all need, to remind us that what is truly good and truly most important is spending time with God, completely in His presence and with our thoughts fixed on Him, even when we feel that we have so little time. We must make time for God in order for Him to guide us and work in our lives the way He longs to do.

Just as Mary and Martha-

³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:39-42)

In our lives we are concerned about many things - paying the bills, getting our studies done, preparing the nursery just right, getting enough work done - but indeed only one thing is truly necessary. Instead of seeing our quiet, devotional time in prayer and scripture reading as just one of a long catalogue of 'things', this year we should aim to reorganize this scattered thinking. Our time with God is THE thing, THE ONLY thing, THE ONLY NECESSARY thing.

When I was in high school, there was a line of t-shirts that were popular, especially among athletes. They had one for basketball, soccer, football, you name it. The basketball players would walk around with these shirts that read: "Basketball is life... the rest is just details." As Christians, we need to understand that the long list of things included in our lives are 'just details' compared to Christ. In fact, we could aptly wear a shirt that says "Christ is life... the rest is just details." But then, it is more important that we wear this motto on our hearts than on our sleeves.

Dear Father, help us this year to focus on you each day, recognizing You as the center of our life, and the only thing that is needed.